We scored iOS 14.4.1 based on how ‘inspirational’ it is

Okay, this is my latest shot at the Pulitzer — that means I best fully embrace this opportunity to give iOS 14.4.1 a score out of ten based on how inspirational I deem it to be. My mind? Ready. My body? Raring. My will? Pure steel.

So, compatriots and enemies, lovers and enemies, friends and enemies, I am here to claim my birthright and give iOS 14.4.1 the rating it was created to receive. Prepare yourself.

First things first… what’s going on with iOS 14.4.1?

[Read: How do you build a pet-friendly gadget? We asked experts and animal owners]

Basically, it’s Apple’s latest iPhone OS update. And in the interest of full accuracy — because that’s what this piece is all about, after all — the company also released iPadOS 14.4.1 at the same time. Both of the updates had the same, uh, feature.

“And Callum,” I hear you say, adding some narrative depth and a different voice into this future-award winning article, “what feature is that?”

Well, pal, “feature” is quite a strong way to describe it. In fact, iOS 14.4.1 is a security update. On Apple’s website it’s listed as a fix for a WebKit bug that would allow hackers and the like to potentially execute code on your device.

And that’s iPadOS and iOS 14.4.1 in a nutshell.

Now though, the rating. We can all agree this is boring as hell, right? Important, sure, but dull as dishwater. Where are the cool flashing lights? Or the sweet LIFEHAX? Or a hilariously new specific emoji I can post on Twitter to get some sweet likes from? I’ll tell you where: nowhere.

I’m not feeling very inspired by iOS 14.4.1. In fact, I may be feeling negatively inspired. I have less spark now than before. But, surely, I find some inspiration in iOS 14.4.1?

First off, security is pretty cool. That reminds me of Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. And what’s more inspirational than that? Secondly, WebKit? Two words smushed together? Yeah! What’s “the dictionary” to tell us what’s right and wrong? INSPIRATIONAL.

So, without further ado… here’s my score for how inspirational iOS 14.4.1 is:

Please, don’t feel like you have to stand and applaud — what I’m doing here is a public service, not a cry for a help. Anyway, if you want some of this inspirational iOS 14.4.1 juice, you can update your iPhone now.

And me? Well, I’ll be hanging out by my letterbox waiting for my nomination.