Nigerian scams aren’t new. For as long as we’ve had email, we’ve had princes claiming millions of dollars are ready for you to claim. They’re right there with emails boasting free lottery numbers and ads for sexual enhancement pills.
Except this one.
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In this next-level bit of scamming, a man is asking for a mere $3 million to rescue a Nigerian astronaut (no need to adjust your screen) who was left behind — a la Matt Damon — by those awful Russians. The original email was published, in full, at Anorak.
There are many lulz to be had, but in my opinion the biggest of them all is the fact that a man has been sitting in space since for 15-plus years after getting left behind in favor of cargo and he’s “in good humor.”
All-in-all it was a valiant attempt. There has never been anything recorded about an astronaut that goes by Abacha Tunde. The mission timeline is quite off, meaning they either don’t exist or are misaligned with the proper dates, but elsewhere the attention to detail was strong. The scammers even used a .gov email account, from this government website.
Hopefully we can get Major Abacha Tunde back home soon where he can enjoy all the things he missed out on having spent 15-plus years in space, like ‘The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,’ vagina speakers and crazy drone races.