Gadgets for humans

Apple’s new AirPods Pro are exactly as I advised — I’ll accept cash

Call me the Nostradamus of true wireless

airpod design header image OWE ME MONEY
Price $ 249 ProductAirPods Pro by Apple

Do I think Tim Cook stalks me? And reads all my articles? Well, I can’t say for certain, but yes. Totally. 100 percent. Otherwise there’s no way the brand new AirPods Pro would be the way they are.

In case you aren’t aware, yesterday Apple announced the new version of its true wireless earbuds. They feature noise-canceling tech, an ambient awareness mode (the company refers to this as “transparency”), improved sound, and removable ear tips — something you can read about in more detail here.

But, what has got me convinced Mr. Tim Apple has been tracking me is how eerily similar these new updates are to an article I wrote earlier in the year telling Apple how they could’ve made the AirPods better.

Don’t believe me? Well, let’s have a look at what I advised and compare it to the reality.

  • “Stop [the AirPods] from falling out by using some goddamn grips”: Check. While the old AirPods were just sticks of smooth plastic, the AirPods Pro have flexible tips you can remove to get a perfect seal around your earholes. In other words, Apple has effectively added some grip to stop the AirPods Pro from falling out. Nice.
  • “A way to control volume control on the AirPods themselves”: A fail on this one, but you can’t have everything. Apple did put controls for the noise-canceling and ambient mode options on the AirPods themselves though, so I feel I still won a spiritual battle here.
  • “Improved sound isolation”: Check again! Compared to the old models, the AirPods Pro’s flexible silicone tips should reduce the amount of sound leakage.
  • “Some noise-cancellation”: God, it feels good to be looked upon with such respect.
  • “Bass, bass, plus, importantly, some more bass“: Another point, another check. Apple put a new driver in the AirPods Pro, which provides bass down to 20Hz. Also, the company has introduced a feature called “Adaptive EQ,” which tunes the sound you’re hearing to the shape of your ear. In practice, this should deliver a richer, fuller, and more bass-y tone.
  • “Additional colors”: Well, this was a long shot anyway. I did see rumors about the AirPods Pro coming in a range of different colors, but that looks to have been a big old lie. I would like the option for a black or gray pair of AirPods though, as those white ones are pretty damn conspicuous.

All-in-all, a pretty accurate list, right? Almost… too accurate. Almost like Apple used it as a design guide for the AirPods Pro.

So, Tim, I know you’re reading this. Drop me an email or send me a DM — I’ve got an invoice that needs sorting.


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Published October 29, 2019 — 11:04 UTC

Price $ 249 ProductAirPods Pro by Apple