[Best of 2019] I tried getting chill and swole (chwole?) with CBD-infused protein bars

CBD is a weird one. On one hand, it has acolytes everywhere claiming it to be a miraculous wonder-drug. But on the other? There’s little proper medical science backing up these declarations.

So, we knew what we had to do: test out CBD-infused protein bars to see if we could both experience the impact of the chemical and, simultaneously, get swole as a motherfucker.

First off, what the hell is CBD?

Good question. Basically, it’s part of the iconic marijuana plant.

Specifically, CBD is an abbreviation of cannabidiol, which is one of the cannabinoids that appear in the aforementioned foliage. Another, and substantially more famous part of the same greenery is THC. You know, the bit that gets you fucked up.

CBD, on the other hand, isn’t psychoactive. The idea is you can take this chemical and experience the physical benefits of marijuana, without being high.

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And those benefits?

According to CBD’s fans, it can help with things like relaxation, nausea, and provide general pain relief.

Again, before we go any further, there’s been limited medical research on CBD. It has been approved by the FDA to treat some forms of epilepsy, but not much else. Basically, this means everything below is my personal experience. We good?

Got it. So you mentioned CBD-infused protein bars?

Hell yeah I did. Say hello to this badgal:

That, one and all, is the JustCBD peanut butter-flavored protein bar.

Taste, texture — tell me!

It’s okay, y’know? It has more of a Rice Krispie texture than I was expecting (normally I’m used to protein bars that are made out of some dense material, like compressed bread). This isn’t a bad thing, but is different to regular bars.

Taste-wise, there’s a slight weed-tinge to the proceedings, but the overall flavor is definitely chocolate peanut butter – which is one of the finest combinations around.

So, effects?

See how ready I am to play some table tennis?

Seriously.

Okay, so I exercised in a few ways while using the protein bars over the course of a week. Specifically, I did some cardio, weight training, squash, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ). I experimented with eating the CBD-infused protein bar before, during, and after some of those activities.

First off, I definitely felt different after consuming the protein bars. The CBD definitely gave me a weed-y feeling. I wasn’t high, but my body felt loose; I was calm, but my attention drifted. I definitely wasn’t high, but I did have a slightly dry mouth.

When I exercised soon after munching the CBD protein bar, I found my drive and focus wasn’t as good as normal. Getting that final push with weights felt harder than ever. The final parts of a run was tougher than usual. So far, not so swole.

Any exercise you found it worked well with?

Yeah, it was good for more flow-based activities. For example, I felt relaxed and laid-back while rolling in BJJ. And although I haven’t done any yoga in the past week, I could imagine it being enjoyable under the influence of CBD-infused protein.

Basically, I found CBD worked with anything that requires minimal amounts of grit.

What about munching on a CBD-infused protein bar during a workout?

Not recommended. Doing this made me feel kinda weird — but that’s not a huge surprise as I wouldn’t ever eat a normal protein bar in the middle of a workout anyway. But I did it for you, reader. And for the gains.

And what about after exercise?

This is where I could see CBD in general (not just in protein bars) being pretty useful. Basically, my muscles loosened, and I felt very chilled out. Basically, everything was good.

What about getting swole?

Honestly, it’s hard to talk about the quality of the protein after using it for only a week. My gut reaction is you’d be better off eating lots of chicken breasts and using CBD drops, but I guess that kinda misses the point.

The idea behind protein bars generally is they’re easy-to-consume, and when you add CBD into the mix it’s simply convenient. On that front… not bad.

So, how do you feel after using these CBD-infused protein bars?

Well, if you see a bulging, relaxed-looking dude walking down the street, you know it’s probably not me, but it might be… one day.

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