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This article was published on April 14, 2017

Nintendo’s JoyCon simulates boob groping, and that’s not at all creepy

Nintendo’s JoyCon simulates boob groping, and that’s not at all creepy
Rachel Kaser
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Rachel Kaser

Internet Culture Writer

Rachel is a writer and former game critic from Central Texas. She enjoys gaming, writing mystery stories, streaming on Twitch, and horseback Rachel is a writer and former game critic from Central Texas. She enjoys gaming, writing mystery stories, streaming on Twitch, and horseback riding. Check her Twitter for curmudgeonly criticisms.

When the Nintendo Switch debuted, executives put a lot of emphasis on the tactility of the new JoyCon controllers. Now it seems at least one game is going to put that tactility to use in a family-unfriendly way.

In the video below, from yesterday’s Nintendo Direct news event, a game director shows off artwork of a lovely lady, holds up the JoyCon, and then — in a transition as abrupt as it is baffling — it cuts to Nintendo scientists fondling some boob-like items while holding the JoyCon.

You can see two people in lab coats holding JoyCon while simultaneously playing with water balloons. They also watch gelatin jiggle, for some reason. I have no idea if the JoyCon can adequately simulate the feeling of bouncing bosoms, and frankly I don’t care to find out.

The promo is for a new game in the Senran Kagura series, which is about ridiculously well-endowed female ninjas who occasionally dress like schoolgirls. Ordinarily, I’d give a brief overview of the game’s mechanics or story or something. In this case, though, I think what you see in the video tells you all you really need to know to understand what Nintendo’s intrepid JoyCon scientists are doing.

The video wasn’t released with the English version of the Direct show, so there’s no translation. The director could be describing the game’s epic story in prose that would put Shakespeare’s to shame and I wouldn’t know. But based on the artwork behind him, his … suspect hand motions, and the aforementioned jiggly things make me think I’m not missing anything terribly important.