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This article was published on September 1, 2020

Here’s your COVID-19 horoscope (since you hate science so much)


Here’s your COVID-19 horoscope (since you hate science so much)

Coronavirus in Context is a weekly newsletter where we bring you facts that matter about the COVID-19 pandemic and the technology trying to stop its spread. You can subscribe here.

Hola pandemic pals,

When flu season hits this year, are we going to update the novel coronavirus to COVID-20? I’m only asking because I’ve been reading a lot of research papers and press releases from epidemiology reviews and it appears as though we’re headed for a second wave pandemic. 

But nobody wants to hear that. Science schmience, amirite? The politicization of COVID-19 has resulted in a complete side-lining of science and technology.

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Because, here’s the rub: as long as hundreds of millions of people refuse to believe the facts, there’s no way to stop them from spreading the disease. Our ability to properly respond to the pandemic is crippled by the notion that we’ll have to wait until all the naysayers with political power have suffered personal COVID-19-related losses to convince them the error of their ways. That’s as dark a paragraph as I’ve ever written. 

So let’s change things up. Since science and technology are useless in a fight against people with their heads shoved so far up… the sand dune they’re burying them in… let’s do astrology.

What’s your sign? 

Leo: You’ll have good fortune if you wear a mask when you’re in public.

Scorpio? Staying in quarantine and observing social distancing makes you more attractive.

Virgo: Your Moon is in the House of Saturn and that means you should wash your hands vigorously at regular intervals throughout the day.

What’s another zodiac sign? Taurus? 

Taurus: No bull, you should encourage people in your bubble to read research and learn the facts about COVID-19.

Pisces: You’re very thoughtful and penitent and people are impressed by your ability to restrain yourself in front of a plate of nachos. Wear a mask.

Capricorn: You’ve been called a great dancer, but that’s nothing compared to the monuments they’ll erect in your honor if you observe proper social distancing and only spend time in public for essential errands. 

If I forgot your zodiac sign it’s because astrology is fake and I couldn’t be bothered to keep this bit going. 

By the numbers
Last week we talked about money.

This week let’s revisit the COVID-19 infection numbers (Worldometers)
  • Total COVID-
  • 19 cases worldwide: 25,725,115
  • Total COVID-19 deaths worldwide: 856,369
  • Countries with more than 1 million cases: 4
  • Countries with more than 50,000 deaths: 4

(1 million+ confirmed cases in US, Brazil, India, Russia)
(50,000+ deaths in US, Brazil, India, Mexico)

Tweet thread of the week

What to read
COVID-19! Second verse worse than the first, the White House suppressed data, and the CDC has obviously been compromised…
2️⃣ TWINDEMIC? Wow, that sounds friggin’ awful. What happens when you get the flu and COVID-19 at the same time? (ABC)
? AI jobs have plummeted in the wake of the global pandemic. Find out what that means.
? The White House intentionally suppressed and downplayed COVID-19 reports — that’s you’re reminder to vote like your life depends on it (NBC)
? COVID-19 is ravaging colleges as students are forced to return to classes. Gosh, if only someone could have warned everyone this would happen. (CNN)
? Prioritizing your team’s mental health is no longer optional in 2020. Here’s why.
? Mexico’s health chiefs don’t think testing is as helpful as predicting. But 5X as many people have died from COVID-19 in Baja than San Diego county — which has the same population — despite there only being 1/2 the cases. (San Diego Union Tribune)
? A Biogen conference in Boston last February turned out to be a super spreader event infecting tens of thousands of people. (The Boston Globe)
? Florida Man says coronavirus is a hoax. Florida Man’s wife dies of COVID-19. Florida Man says he believes in coronavirus now. Don’t be like Florida Man. (BBC)
✋ The CDC succumbed to political pressure from right-wing science-deniers in order to appease the Trump administration. In other words: ignore it. (The New York Times)

¯_(ツ)_/¯
In this little section, we’d like to talk about the tech that’s getting us through the pandemic. This week I’m boycotting this section.

Technology could be saving our lives. If the global community came together and decided to end the pandemic, we could knock it out in a few months.

Instead of an entire year of economic and financial destruction… instead of thousands of businesses closing permanently (just in the Mexican state where I live)… instead of nearly a million people dead… we could all be talking about the pandemic that was, not the one that’s just getting started.

Well, bye

Every week I write this newsletter, I get tied up in the numbers. Nearly a million dead, over 25 million infected… but there’s more to the pandemic than just the body count. 

There’s also the lingering effects that fear, anxiety, and trauma have on us as individuals. And there’s the social damage being done by those who refuse to believe the facts that matter.

And those facts are: COVID-19 can be ultimately stymied by a few incredibly simple steps (wear mask, wash your hands, remain socially distant) and every person who refuses to do those things is personally responsible for delaying our civilization’s recovery. 

Adios amigos,
                       Tristan

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