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Inside money, markets, and Big Tech

This article was published on March 12, 2019

Fuck Aladdin, CRYPTO is the only live action film we want to see

Kurt Russell, Luke Hemsworth, Russian money launderers, and Bitcoin

Fuck Aladdin, CRYPTO is the only live action film we want to see
David Canellis
Story by

David Canellis

David is a tech journalist who loves old-school adventure games, techno and the Beastie Boys. He's currently on the finance beat. David is a tech journalist who loves old-school adventure games, techno and the Beastie Boys. He's currently on the finance beat.

Fuck, it’s real. The official trailer for CRYPTO, Hollywood‘s attempt at a cryptocurrency movie, has finally dropped. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

CRYPTO (somehow) stars Kurt Russell, Luke Hemsworth, and Alexis Bledel. It centers on a “financial sector prodigy” (Beau Knapp) re-assigned to the small town of Elba for being too damn good at his job.

While in exile, he is seemingly tasked with tracking the masterminds of an underground Bitcoin money laundering ring (awesome).

At one point, the main character exclaims: “We have a serious problem. I’m pretty sure the Russian mafia is laundering money through the Omni branch!” – what that is exactly is not immediately clear, but I bet it’s pretty dope.

Looks legit

The trailer does make it very clear these crims are masters of espionage, leaving no phone number, and no email: Just. Ten. Million. Dollars. In. Cryptocurrencies.

Did I mention Kurt Russell is a farmer? He wears a funky hat, owns a farm, and there’s a conspiracy related to that farm. He should be involved in the plot. It seems he is Luke Hemsworth’s father. Nice.

The description of the YouTube trailer states: “In this cyber-thriller starring Kurt Russell and Beau Knapp, a Wall Street banker connects a small-town art gallery to a global conspiracy, putting his own family in grave danger,” and we can’t fucking wait for it to premiere.

Did you know? Hard Fork has its own stage at TNW2019, our tech conference in Amsterdam. Check it out.

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