The week’s best Android games to play while pretending to poop at work

The week’s best Android games to play while pretending to poop at work
Credit: Már Másson Maack

Welcome to our new column, in which YouTuber NimbleThor brings you a short list of the best new mobile games for your Android device, released over the past week. Whether you’re into casual time wasters or hardcore shooters, you’ll find something in here to exercise your thumbs with.

Between tight deadlines, your colleagues’ mundane stories about their talented nephew who just learned to tie his shoelaces, and your boss’ relentless reminders to sign up for the upcoming team-building relay race, we all just need a long break now and then to poop and… play mobile games!

From fierce PvP action to relaxing puzzles, here are three great new Android games to play while pretending to poop at work.

King of Crabs

  • Size: 84 MB
  • Price: Free
  • Genre: Action / Multiplayer / “.io” game | Requires Online Access

King of Crabs is a great-looking .io-style action game where you eat smaller crabs to grow bigger, as you fight against upwards of 100 other crabs in an attempt to become the lord of the beach.

As you run around the huge map, you can discover and destroy crates that have washed ashore to score shields or knives to temporarily aid you in battle. In between rounds, you can spend gold acquired in-game or through in-app purchases to buy better crabs or upgrade existing ones.

The controls are dead simple, and I had a blast destroying crappy crabs in this game while taking a crap (don’t tell our boss) – making this an easy recommendation for anyone looking for an easy title to get started with on their throne.

Get King of Crabs on Google Play.

Unpuzzle

  • Size: 93 MB
  • Price: Free
  • Genre: Puzzle / Casual | Offline Playable

Unpuzzle is a curious little puzzler which sees you attempt to take apart a jigsaw puzzle instead of completing it, with 10 different obstacle elements introduced over time to make the puzzles increasingly more difficult over the course of 150 levels.

Since there’s no penalty for making mistakes, the game will appeal to both casual (like me) and hardcore puzzle-solvers alike. If you ever get stuck on a level, you can simply use a hint or even skip the level completely, and move on to the next one.

But best of all, you can continue your puzzle adventures as you return to your desk, as the game is playable both on mobile and in your browser – but you didn’t hear that from us.

Get Unpuzzle on Google Play, or on Miniclip if you’re at your desktop.

Battlelands Royale

  • Size: 121 MB
  • Price: Free
  • Genre: Battle Royale / Action / Shooter | Requires Online Access

This is a 32-player casual Battle Royale-style game with a fun cartoony art style, short rounds that last between two and five minutes, seemingly no bots on the servers, no ads, and no need to spend on in-app purchases unless you want some cosmetic upgrades and XP boosts. More like this, please!

At this point, it feels like the game could use a few more maps and weapons – but apart from that, it’s as close to a perfect casual multiplayer battle title as you can imagine.

Get Battlelands Royale on Google Play.

That’s all for this week, but be sure to tune in again next Friday for more sweet games. Happy slacking off work!

Psst: if you want more great games, be sure to check out last week’s roundup here.

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