My mother writes a blog on social media. Everyone you know has penned a grand treatise about Twitter and Facebook. If you Google “social media news,” there are 3 billion results.

But this is not enough! We need more. In that vein, I wanted to create a simple ten step plan for you too, to become a social media writer.

1. Write about Pinterest

 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Pinterest is HUGE. There’s been quite a lot of stories about Pinterest’s rapid growth, and how the social media world’s darling is now becoming an interesting marketing and business tool. Be sure to mention how it can be applied to [insert anything]. Oh, and be sure to talk about user demographics!

Potential articles: How Pinterest can be Used in Muffin Top Cooking, Why Pinterest has More Men Then You Think, Pinterest– The Next Facebook?

 

2. Make slideshows about memes

Bro Meme Steal Stuff How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Try and uncover the true source of the meme (hint: usually Tumblr). A week after a meme starts, make a post about the best of the best of that meme.

Potential Articles: The Best of Sh*t Social Media Writers Say, My 10 Favorite Corgis With Sweaters

 

3. Talk about how much you love Path’s UI

 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Path is great. It’s not Facebook. Remember, the UI is “gorgeous.” Mention micro-social networks. If you want to sound more impressive, mention social networking theory and the pendulum swing away from over-sharing.

Potential Articles: Why Path’s UI is So Gorgeous, Will Path Overtake Facebook, You Too Can be on A Path to a Better UI.

 

4. Find a way to “Check-In” to your Toaster

 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

You can now check-in to places, websites, TV showsvideo games, consumer packaged goods and even the future! Find a way to check-in to a Toaster. Write it up. Wait two hours, and BOOM: Front-page of techmeme.

Potential Articles: Are you the Bagel Toasting Mayor Yet?, Only Check-In When Toasting Whole Wheat

 

5. Rewrite a Mashable Article

Mashable New How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Enough said.

Potential Articles: Check Mashable.com

 

6. Mention Ashton Kutcher

ashtonkutcher berlincropped How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Ashton Kutcher is both famous and a techie. Talk about the synergies between his acting and his investing (like the time on Two and a Half Men with those laptop stickers, yada yada) and you have pageview gold.

Potential Articles: Is Ashton Kutcher the New Ron Conway?, Two and a Half Investors Invest in Chomp

 

7. Make a controversial statement about Sheryl Sandberg

 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

People like to say big bold statements about Sheryl. Like, “Why I’m glad Sheryl Sandberg isn’t on Facebook’s board“. Join this crowd and you too can be a New York Times writer.

Potential Articles: Sheryl Sandberg– The Perfect Woman?, Sheryl Sandberg– The Flawed Woman?, Sheryl Sandberg– Woman?

 

8. Make a Top 10 List

 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Especially a meta one.

Potential Articles: The Top 10 Top 10 Lists, The 10 Kanye West Tweets

 

9. Complain about Social Media Consultants

unhappyhipsters How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

This trend piece basically writes itself! In a economy of staggering unemployment, our youth are throwing themselves into social media consulting in order to make ends meet. But alas, there are only so many restaurants that need professional tweeters. Oh, the angst!

Potential Articles: Why Social Media Consulting is the new Black, Yes– Your Brother is a Social Media Consultant, @SocialMediaConsultants Shut-up. 

 

10. Write about Pinterest

pinterest1 How to be a Social Media Writer in 10EasyStepscropped How to be a Social Media Writer in 10 easy steps

Again. This is simple. Repeat Step 1. Write about Pinterest. Step 2. Page views.

Potential Articles: Pintrested in Politics? Which Candidate Will Pin their Way to the Top, Pinterest– How Many Cute Shoes Can You Look At?, Will Pintrest Save the Occupy Movement?

Stay Tuned for next week’s The Ten Best Ashton Kutcher Memes on Pinterest