It’s Friday, which means we can get away with posts like this one.
Straight from the WTF department comes this cringe-worthy and unintentionally funny press release, entitled ‘Facebook and Google Have a New Frienemy – BoingOpia.com launches Patent Pending Web 3.0’. It’s all there, folks.
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The headline mentions Facebook and Google, because, you know, it’s Facebook and Google and we hear they’re big on the Web and stuff.
It mentions the word ‘frienemy’, which is a hipster’s way of spelling frenemy, described by good old
Britannica Encyclopedia Wikipedia as “either an enemy disguised as a friend or someone who’s both a friend and a rival”.
The rival company in question has an odd name that is almost guaranteed to also be the name of a sleazy strip club or brothel somewhere on this planet. Where did you pick up that nasty STD, Jim? Why, at BoingOpia, of course.
And of course it contains the term ‘Web 3.0’, just when people have finally come to terms with the fact that Web 2.0 was a God awful term that should never, ever be used again in any way imaginable. Seriously, just don’t.
This Web 3.0 Technology (with capital T, yes Sir) is even patent-pending, which has become so meaningless these days that even using the word meaningless to describe it has become kind of meaningless.
Below find the full press release for your enjoyment 3.0. I would have gladly put the parts that made me laugh hard in bold, but that would mean nearly highlighting everything in there, so do yourself a favor and just read it in full.
Facebook and Google Have a New Frienemy – BoingOpia.com launches Patent Pending Web 3.0
PHOENIX, May 4, 2012 /PRNewswire/ — BoingOpia Corporation has announced today the launch of the company’s technological contribution to Web 3.0.
Being referred to as the gateway to Web 3.0, BoingOpia Corporation’s Patent Pending Technology allows Internet surfers to instantly create a microsite of any website and share it to other social networks, web pages, blogs, ad networks, etc.
Through the company’s new social network, The World Of BoingOpia, consumers can create microsites of their favorite product websites, spread them virally across all relevant social platforms, track consumer interactions, and finally, allows registered users to anonymously ‘Get Paid for their Likes’.
The system automatically assists users in becoming registered affiliates for the World’s Top Leading Brands such as Calvin Klein, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Armani, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Sony, Apple, Hewlett-Packard, etc., totaling more than One Hundred Twenty Million (120Million) products.
Chief Marketing Officer, Robin Mitchell, had this to say, “…In all of the years of my career in marketing, I have never witnessed a company as focused and dedicated to the needs of the so-called ‘little guy’ as much as BoingOpia Corporation has proven itself to be. This company has really captured the essence of what technology can do for all of us to profit, and to unleash the inner entrepreneur buried deep inside each and every one of us. I am so proud to be a part of this revolutionary experience that will change the World.”
The company’s revolutionary search engine also provides an improved experience for users by automatically creating microsites of each of the relevant search results using its proprietary Relavor Technology, which only returns the most relevant search results to choose from. The system compiles the assets of the remote website, and allows the consumer to interact with those assets without ever leaving the current website. An “Out-To-Site” link is conveniently located on each microsite for easy access to the originating website.
The technique is especially effective while using mobile devices. It removes the need to constantly pinch to expand and contract the website to fit within the mobile screen. The BoingOpia technology automatically sizes the remote website’s assets into the new BoingOpia browsing experience.
Users can view images, watch videos, read text, as well as listen to a naturally speaking voice read the text of the website while displaying a slideshow of the website’s images, and even place orders for the products sold at the website, remotely. Website owners no longer need to spend thousands of dollars creating mobile versions of their websites, or even more expensive mobile applications.
The BoingOpia Patent Pending Web 3.0 Technology will also allow users to speak voice commands through mobile devices while conducting comprehensive searches. For example, by simply saying the name of a particular product, the system will automatically find the website with the best price for the product, compile several product review videos, product images, description text, purchase location, etc., and generate the microsite which will automatically start playing the videos in sequence, or display product images while reading the text description, for hands-free interaction, all in under one second.
Eric Benson, CEO says, “…The evolution of the world-wide-web comes down to one word: data. We all contribute little bits to it every day, which collect as an embodiment and made available through the internet. We all own the internet collectively, and as such, we should all have the ability to profit by it collectively and individually. BoingOpia Corporation has dedicated itself to putting the power of the internet back into the hands of the people who created it… the people who use it each and every day.”
So far, the company has developed several products which use the amazing new web 3.0 technology. Full Live demonstrations are available at the subsequent links written here below:
BoingOpia Manual Microsite Generator: Creates a microsite of any product website in under two minutes. Additional videos may also be added to any microsite during the manual microsite generator process. A fully interactive Live demo may be performed here: http://www.BoingOpia.com/Generator
Each microsite created is instantly published to the main BoingOpia website, the original creator’s profile page, as well as to their other social networks pages and walls, search engines, etc., for the world to see and interact with.
BoingOpia Contextual Ad Network is completely built out, fully operational, and provides website owners with proprietary BoingOpia Ad Network code to embed into their web pages, automatically rendering their websites with an explosion of interactive ads which they profit by whenever a consumer purchase is made of the products featured in the interactive microsites.
Simply hover the green text at the following URL to see BoingOpia Contextual Ad Networks Live Demo: http://www.BoingOpia.com/Contextual
BoingOpia Ad Banner Generator for Advertising Agencies: Advertising agencies may now instantly create advertising banners for clients’ websites and advertising campaigns in minutes.
See Live Banner Ad Generator Demo Here: http://www.BoingOpia.com/ads
BoingOpia for eCommerce: Anyone with a product to sell may instantly publish a microsite of the product complete with images, videos, text descriptions, etc., and a payment page link such as PayPal, to accept payments, as well as a chat system for real-time discussions, all without owning a website.
BoingOpia For Real Estate Agents: This unique product allows real estate agents to instantly publish a microsite of properties for sale or rent complete with images, videos, text descriptions, and a fully functioning interactive contact form, plus a chat system for real-time discussions.
BoingOpia For New Music: New or Seasoned Musical Entertainers may create and virally distribute microsites of their musical performances by simply inputting links to their videos and images, write their text biography, as well as include payment links, such as PayPal, to allow consumers to purchase individual music tracks or full albums.
A Live Demonstration of BoingOpia for New Music is available at: http://www.BoingOpia.com.
BoingOpia For Videos: Consumers may create collections of videos which can then be embedded into websites, blogs, social networks such as Facebook, etc., for back to back uninterrupted play.
BoingOpia Mobile Code For Website Owners: The proprietary technology and code, when embedded into websites, will instantly display the optimized mobile version while offering the website owner more control over the look and feel of their created microsite, providing mobile visitors with the best possible viewing experience and interaction regardless of their mobile device.
BoingOpia Clone-It Button: The company provides the tools which allow web surfers to instantly create a microsite of their favorite websites by simply clicking the Clone It button, a browser plugin available to registered users.
For more information, please visit BoingOpia.com at http://www.BoingOpia.com.
About BoingOpia Corporation
BoingOpia Corporation is a privately held software development company with patents pending in the fields of internet advertising algorithms, as well as financial related technologies, and applications used by fortune 500 companies.