Not all tech entrepreneurs are as lovely as TNW’s Boris Veldhuijzen Van Zanten. You could end up dating one that closer resembles a robot and leaves you desiring sex, proper dinner dates and wondering who the hell Paul Graham is. Or as Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend Erica Albright learned in the film “The Social Network”–sometimes they can just be downright, selfish nerds.
Our friends at iStrategyLabs put together this hilarious list for us on reasons you shouldn’t date a tech entrepreneur. Find out why here:
- Freemium models are your competition at the bar.
- When you’re talking, they’re thinking about users.
- They think lusting after 22 year old programmers is okay for grown men/women to do.
- They make awkward sexual remarks like “I’d call that API”.
- They think a startup consists of not having a job, while programming.
- They think they have multiple startups in the form of multiple unfinished apps.
- If they’re from NYC, they grow really silly mustaches and wear really tight jeans.
- If they’re from SF, they wear really tight jeans and grow really silly mustaches.
- If they’re from DC, they’ll wish they could grow a really silly mustache and have tighter jeans.
- If they’re in Austin, they’re probably puking on something during SXSW.
- They think you care about their monetization strategy.
- They don’t care how hot you are – if you don’t “get it” then you’re toast.
- They think referencing Paul Graham essays in causal conversation is normal.
- They have to schedule dates spontaneously 3 weeks in advance.
- They’re too tired for a booty call.
- Their exit strategy includes paying him/her.
- You’ll need to follow them on Twitter to know what they’re up to.
- You’ll need to follow them on Foursquare to bump into them randomly.
- You’ll need to pretend you’re not jealous of the quality time they spend with their Siri.
- Their idea of a date is meeting you at Starbucks for 30 minutes.
- They keep pushing you to hire a team to manage and grow your personal blog
- They won’t talk to you if you don’t believe in agile/lean everything.
- Pillow talk sometimes includes references to Jack Dorsey.
- Pillow talk also includes “when I raise that round baby…”
- Ship early, ship often does not include gifts on your birthday.
- Fail fast applies to your relationship.
- Vacation includes co-working sessions, networking, Skype, and writing proposals.
- When they wake up, the first thing they reach for is their iPhone.
- You’ll get friend requests from people even they’ve never met in person.
So. Much. Tech.
Some of the biggest names in tech are coming to TNW Conference in Amsterdam this May.