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Norman N. is an 81-year-old man whose son told him that to search for things on Google, you needed to type the search phrase into Twitter, Gizmodo reports.

Norman searches for everything from information on his rashes to soft-boiled grapes (I didn’t know there was such a thing), and perhaps my favorite is an old man’s version of Internet porn: “diane sawyer swimsuit pictures.”

I’m not sure whether or not this is real — old man Norman hasn’t given up since late April, and you’d have to assume that even our notoriously computer illiterate elders would give up after some stretch of getting nothing back.

But if it is real, we can expect that Norman will be using the real Google to search “honor thy father punishment” when he figures out his son was jerking him around. I think the traditional answer to that question is stoning.