Meeting a ‘high tech’ Silicon Valley call-girl

While in San Francisco I had the chance to meet and interview someone who most people won’t ever meet. And if they do, they might not talk about it publicly. The person I interviewed is known to most people only as ‘Fille deLouer’. She is an active blogger (http://filledeloyer.wordpress.com/), twitter-er (http://twitter.com/fillealouer), works in the tech industry AND as an elite escort.

Yep, an elite escort.
She has paid sex with men.

There are lots of reasons to blog and twitter and one important one is to strengthen your online presence and do a little self-promotion. This surely can’t be the case with ‘Fille aLouer’ who is very strict about her privacy and doesn’t want to get known. So why does she do it? Why do people twitter in general? I wanted to find out.

I spent some time setting up a meeting with Fille but she refused to do so in order to protect her privacy. I did end up meeting her but will only tell you about that at the end of this story. First the interview:

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My first question: are you real or just a blogger having fun with an alternate identity?

hello, Boris. Before I answer your first question I’d like to clear something up. It is very important for me to safeguard my identity but I actually do use twitter to promote my blog. I don’t think “self promotion” is a dirty word. And I don’t believe for a minute that most people who twitter aren’t using it as some form of self promotion. Nobody is that interested in status updates. I mean c’mon. Do I care if someone tweets that they can’t decide what shoes to wear? Not really. I do like knowing that someone’s put up a new post on their blog though. And I like being directed to a cool article or video or product review.

So, back to your original question: am I real. I don’t think some random blogger could make up half of the things I’ve experienced and talk about on my blog. I am, in fact, very real. But having been a part of the tech industry for the last several years I’m not surprised by this question. Skepticism seems to be endemic in the community. Whether it’s a healthy skepticism I don’t know. Sometimes it’s just annoying. I’ve gotten this question a lot.

Ok, can you tell me how you got started with this?

It all started after the tech industry in San Francisco imploded after September 11th. Like so many others I was adrift in a sea of unemployed peripheral people – read: non programmers. I was absolutely scrounging to make ends meet and pay rent. For a little while I even worked for a phone sex line. That was a bit creepy. I’d take any little job I could get and it really was a challenge just to tread water.

A guy I had dated got back in touch and we met up for coffee at an internet cafe. At the cafe he recognized a site that one of the customers was on. It was a site where escorts advertise. It was also a review site. There are two or three major sites in the US that people use. I’d never known about such things so it was all new to me. But because in the past I had thought it would be exciting to be an escort and that I’d be really good at it, I was intrigued. After I got home from the cafe I got online and did lots and lots of research. The things I found were surprising.

What kind of technology company do you work with and how do you keep these things separated?

I can’t really get into what exactly I do or who I work for – for obvious reasons. I will say that I make use of social media which is an amazing new vehicle for marketers and I’m really excited to be immersing myself in it and learning all about it. As I’ve already said I’m no programmer though I’ve worked very closely with developers.

How do I keep things separated? Well for one thing, I don’t sleep with my tech clients. That’s probably the biggest way to keep things separate! I lead sort of a secret life. I don’t talk about the things I do as an escort at work. I’m not interested in bragging about my exploits to people I know. I have to admit it does give me a little thrill to know I’ve got this entirely separate identity in which I can twist men around my little finger. Does that sound awful? It’s the truth, though.

Are there people who know about your hidden life?

I’ve told exactly two women in the last four years. Both of whom are very open minded and know how to keep a secret. I don’t know any other escorts as I perceive that I wouldn’t have all that much in common with the average escort. I’d be wanting to talk about flying to Europe for a tech conference and they’d want to talk about their acrylic nails.

How can you prove to me that all of what you say is really true? Are
you Fake Steve Jobs?

Do you ask other people to prove if what they say is really true? I suppose because I engage in something that a very small percentage of the female population persue, it makes people question my veracity. It’s true that I love beautiful objects and that negative people upset me. But no, I’m not Fake Steve Jobs.

What did you think about the Web2expo SF?

It was a bit overwhelming as it was my first Web 2.0. I enjoyed Clay Shirkey’s presentation. I was very interested in hearing what he had to say. There best bits for me were anything to do with using new technologies to market your ideas and products. I’m very interested in seeing what develops with mobile technology and handheld devices. Mostly I met some interesting people and did a lot of networking. The chemicals in the carpets on the expo floor were overwhelming though and I couldn’t spend too much time there without my head wanting to explode! Moscone Center needs to go green.

Who are the sexiest men in technology who you wouldn’t mind having as a client?

Sexy is as sexy does. I like a well presented package. That means personality and brains, fitness and good grooming. At least the khaki baggy pants brigade is dying out. But it isn’t quite dead yet. I’ve made no secret of my preference for European and British men because of their superior sense of style. American men need to catch up. Although I’m not sure they should go the “all white suit” path. That only works for eccentric Dutch men. And there is far too much of the wrong facial hair in the tech world to suit me. There are some very sexy men in tech and I met quite a few of them at Web 2.0. But I wouldn’t want them to be my clients because I’d lose all respect for them if I knew that’s what they were getting up to.

Are there any similarities between your work in technology and your escort work?

You always want to please the customer. Make sure their experience is a good one. Keep them coming back for more. In escorting the product is more what happens in the clients mind. It’s all psychological. I’m a normal woman, with all the regular body parts. There’s nothing special about me. My job is to make them feel fabulous about themselves. Although what goes on in some men’s minds is so whack I have no way of accomplishing this. In my regular work it’s all about having a great product and delivering on time. Overdelivering on time. And yes, some of these clients are whack but I don’t have to sleep with them.

Why do you share all your stories with people on your blog and via twitter?

I’m no dummy, Boris. I know that twitter as a platform attracts those people who are at the forefront of new technology. I want to get my story into the hands of people who can do something with it. It’s mostly to inform people about this segment of the male population who employ escorts. It’s not something that’s talked about. And I’d like other women to know what’s going on. Is their guy seeing an escort? Hopefully not. But I do hate the idea of so many women out there in committed relationships being betrayed in this way.

Did you get any negative feedback from people too? What kind?

Absolutely. There are people who don’t agree with my choice of “profession”. It’s more of a sideline for me, by the way. That’s their prerogative. If you don’t like what I’ve got to say, unfollow me or block me. I don’t swoop in on other people and tell them I don’t like their choice of profession. People get funny when sex is involved.

Did you ever get together with well known internet entrepreneurs that we know of? Or people from companies we might know?

Oh dear. The answer is yes. It’s really difficult to even give any clues as it would totally give their identities away. I can say that you probably wouldn’t be surprised. Or perhaps you would. Some of these men run the biggest companies and move through the world in a very big way. Big houses (compounds, really) big cars, big hobbies. If I were to even give a single clue about these guys you’d guess pretty quickly who they are. I’m not quite prepared to get myself into that kind of trouble ; )

Are you happy?

It’s something that I work on. I won’t be really happy until I leave the escorting behind and get in a real relationship. It’s been a while since I’ve had that and I think that would make me much happier. SF can be a challenging place, socially. I’m still finding my footing here. I have a much better social life in London.

Will you ever come out and reveal your real identity?

Perhaps. One day. After the book deal and several grandchildren.

What can we expect from you in the future?

A book deal. Followed by a television or movie deal. And then for me to quietly fade away. In the meantime I’ve still got lots to say. I’m not going away anytime soon!

These questions were asked and answered via telephone, Twitter and email. I did try to get a meeting scheduled with Fille at the Web2Expo but she refused. Then, one evening, she sent me this photo. I guess we did meet after all, I just didn’t know it…