I cover technology for a living, and I legitimately don’t know what LinkedIn is for. Ostensibly it exists to allow people to move throughout their chosen careers, surfacing enticing job and business opportunities. But that’s bullshit isn’t it? It doesn’t work like that.
LinkedIn recruiters, for example, are a perfect example of the dysfunctional nature of the world’s biggest business social network.
I saw a LinkedIn post today by someone looking for a candidate with “ideally 5 years experience with Swift”.
Yes, I agree, having 5 years experience of a language released in 2014 would be ideal.
— Craig Steele (@craig88) April 5, 2018
recruiters on #linkedIn are a different breed
— tris (@triscodes) August 21, 2018
A recruiter at a temp staffing agency just called me at my permanent job, to talk to me about a temp opportunity.
– He got my contact info via LinkedIn
– The temp job pays HALF of what I currently make
These people getting dumber by the graduating class.
— #LifeGameDope (@HoneybunHank) August 22, 2018
Techies, frankly, are fed up of being pitched job opportunities that ask for decades worth of experience in a language or framework that’s only a few years old. They resent having their time wasted with “opportunities” that are either inappropriate to their skillsets, or come with worse pay and conditions than their existing gig.
But the thing most people hate about LinkedIn recruiters is how generic they are. They’re all uniform people, pitching uniform-looking jobs, with zero character or personality. It’s almost as if there’s a factory line pumping out insufferable dickheads, and they just came off it.
I mention this because I just stumbled across a site that algorithmically creates spoof recruiter InMail, and it does it while perfectly mimicking the tone and style of an identakit LinkedIn recruiter.
Type in the person’s first name, and you’ll get something filled with insincere platitudes, and more buzzwords than you’d hear on the floor a Blockchain convention filled with 50-something C-suiters that could have come straight from a Just For Men photoshoot.
LinkedIn is hell. Making fun of it, mercifully, isn’t. you can check out the LinkedIn Message Generator here.