According to a recent study, Spanish men and women are some of the most unfaithful in all the world. In light of this, Durmet — a Spanish mattress company — has come up with a rather unorthodox solution to put an end to infidelity.
Color me skeptical that this actually exists, but if it does it’s on another level when it comes to trust issues.
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The ‘Smarttress,’ while obviously named by a focus group of kindergartners pre-snack, is a slightly insane way to catch unfaithful partners. Its ‘Lover Detection System” (seriously, I couldn’t make this shit up) includes 24 ultrasonic sensors capable of “capturing suspicious movement” and alerting both bed owners of the activity via mobile app.
The app can also track a full range of statistics from speed to intensity and impact — you know, in case you’re keeping score. Or, you can just pull up a 3D map of the mattress to show exactly which part of the bed your slut of a partner is using to get down.
At this point I’m sure this is either dangerously close to “leave town and stay with relatives while using a pseudonym” or an elaborate publicity stunt to sell more mattresses by Durmet (assuming the company exists outside of a website). Neither would surprise me, as at this point t’s obvious the IoT is on a mission to get us all killed.
If you’d like a statistical breakdown of when the magic happens — even if it’s not with you — you can pre-order the product on the Smarttress website.