Gadgets for humans

Review: the Tectonic9 is the perfect grinder for habitual cannabis users

I like fluffy herb and I cannot lie

Price $ 59.99 ProductTectonic9 by Cloudious9

The Tectonic9 is a manually-operated herb grinder with a vibrating dispenser. Yeah, it didn’t make a lot of sense to me at first either. If I’ve got to do the grinding by hand, what’s the point of the vibration? In a word, the answer is: fluffy. As in, this grinder made my cannabis fluffy and I’m sent.

When I recently reviewed the Atomic9 dry-herb vaporizer from Cloudious9, I also had the opportunity to check out the Tectonic9 herb grinder. It costs the same as the vape, which is why I think it’s important to explain why I really, really like this grinder.

Credit: Nicole Gray

The vibration feature works in tandem with a flip-up spout and sliding door mechanism that allows you to go from grinding (by hand) to dispensing (via vibration). If you’re not familiar with how grinders work or what they’re for, they aren’t all that complicated. Essentially they’re a little bowl with a lid that, like an iron maiden, have spikes or teeth secured to the inside. You place your cannabis flower inside and then you “grind” it up by twisting the top and bottom.

This makes it easier to smoke or vaporize. Just like you wouldn’t put a whole onion on your hamburger, it makes sense to chop up your herb for consumption.

What’s weird here is that I’ve never used a grinder with a “dispenser,” typically you just take the top off and pour out what you’ve ground. I’ll admit that I didn’t get it at first. It’s actually way less convenient to use the little hole in the side of the grinder and the flip-up spout to pour out tiny bits of herb than it is to just dump it.

Credit: Nicole Gray

But, according to Cloudious9’s website the vibration function is “optimized at the perfect vibrational frequency for even dispensing and fluffy materials.” This is truth in advertising. It takes about a minute to a minute-and-a-half to shake out a full chamber’s worth of herb, because you’ve got to shake it and tap it and generally fidget to make the herb pour out. But what comes out is incredibly fluffy.

As I said it’s less convenient, but it’s worth the extra effort. The fluffier your herb is, in my experience, the better it vapes and the more evenly it smokes. In this respect, there’s nothing out there like the Tectonic9. If you’re a habitual user, this should stretch your herb without affecting your usage. And if you’re breaking out the top shelf cannabis, you’ll want it as fluffy and flavorful as possible. The vibrations work.

And let’s be clear, even if it didn’t vibrate this is a top-notch grinder. The diamond-shaped teeth are sharp and perfectly positioned to swirl up a fluffy grind on their own. This is better than the crap you pay nearly as much for in most head shops.

I have only one complaint about the Tectonic9, but it’s a significant one. There’s no secondary screen to collect kief – powderized cannabis shaken off by the grinding process. This is a shame because I assume the vibrations increase the amount of kief created, alas it gets mixed back in with the ground flower.

Aside from that one let down, this thing’s the bees’ knees. I’ve used a lot of grinders, but none of them were USB-powered gadgets with a vibrating spout. 

You can pick one up on Amazon for $59.99.

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Published October 11, 2019 — 19:49 UTC

Price $ 59.99 ProductTectonic9 by Cloudious9