Not even Cardi B can make me appreciate ASMR

Over the weekend, I wrote an article explaining why I hate ASMR videos. But since then, I’ve listen to the arguments the ASMR community (which were quite passionate) and even watched Cardi B’s new ASMR video. All of this helped me come to a definite conclusion: I still hate ASMR

If you don’t know already, ASMR, or “autonomous sensory meridian response,” is the term for the sensation people get when they watch stimulating videos such as this one.

Many people describe the feeling as “tingles” (or “head orgasms“) that run through the back of the head, neck, and, spine. For some, the feeling is deeply relaxing and can even cause them to fall asleep. Not me.

It turns out, Cardi B is a fan of “relaxing” videos and given her outgoing and boisterous character, I’d never have guessed it.

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As a part of W Magazine’s ASMR series, the “Bodak Yellow,” rapper Cardi B spoke about herself for 13:35 minutes in an unsettling, seductive whisper while tapping on a wooden toy and occasionally rubbing a fluffy pillow — too close to the 3D microphones.

Cardi B also whispers about the fear of being a one hit wonder, her pregnancy, and what she loves about being a mother — all interesting points, but I’m not interested in what she has to say if it’s said in-between uncomfortably loud breaths. 

While I can appreciate how Cardi B is a natural at ASMR, she’s hasn’t changed my view in the slightest. I hope this is the last time I’m forced to listen to ASMR in my life time.