This article was published on March 1, 2012

What I learned on Twitter today (but mostly in the last 3 minutes)

What I learned on Twitter today (but mostly in the last 3 minutes)

Spring Bieber is erupting in town squares across the world. Yes, El Bieber gets older, the world was revolted. Aside from that burning bus of news, people started to return from Mobile World Congress and ponder what to congress with next.

It’s truth so sharp you could cut hot butter with it. Twice:

  • Jack and Biz went up the hill to fetch a pale of water, Jack fell down but arose with a Square crown, whilst Biz took pictures of dust filters.
  • Vacuum packed inventor called for job seekers to be kept on shorter leads.
  • A camera was stuffed into an exhaust pipe, given a touchscreen the size of your thumb and didn’t come bundled in a mobile phone, the world gasped.
  • Lion haired loon attended intimate wine tasting event hosted by a company not doing quite as well as Apple.
  • 100 years ago Emmeline Pankhurst, she of women’s rights threw her first brick, but that was nothing compared to giving the world Friends Reunited founder Steve Pankhurst.
  • Now high end car thieves and school run Mums can ask Siri the meaning of life.
  • Someone proposed to Microsoft yesterday, it being a leap year n’all and they got so flustered there was a very big outage.
  • The UK once again excels at successful seedy startups, money for nothing anyone? Oh hang on there’s a 2,354% catch with that.
  • Tech-loving less able self-harmers, now have a means of transport just for them.
  • If you don’t like to see iconic tweeting blue birds playing with matches and poison, look away now.
  • Let a hamburger be your guide to the new Facebook ad formats, we’ll take cheese with ours and hold the gherkins.
  • Put some well trendy photo networks in a box, stamp on said box, throw it under a car, crunch it into a ball, swallow, digest, wait for stomach cramps then inspect the contents of the bowl.
  • The world watched as Spring Bieber Fever took hold in protest at him aging.

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