This $2,000 Tornado BodyDryer exists so you can tell your bathroom to blow you

Admit it: You want this. You just can’t have it because who in their right mind would spend $2,000 on a full-sized Dyson Airblade for the shower? Hang on, when we put it that way, that’s sort of a bargain.

We uncovered this Amazon listing for the Tornado BodyDryer for those of you who are afraid of those awful seconds between turning the shower head off and racing to wrap a towel around your wet, naked, and presumably very cold body. A full-scale electronic device in your damp shower stall: What could go wrong?

Sold by Boca Home Medical Solutions, LLC., the BodyDryer promises to dry “hard-to-reach areas,” “reduce condensation and mildew” from all the towels you won’t need to use, and is removable in case you get embarrassed when your new girlfriend sleeps over.

It has no reviews yet because go figure, but if Tornado wants some extra press coverage on this peculiar device, they know who to call. Thankfully, this job offers life insurance.

➤ Tornado BodyDryer – An electric after-shower Full Body Dryer