This motion alarm snitches on people purloining your possessions

Ever had something that you didn’t want to move from the place it was at? Terrific – good writing is all about shared experience.

Yes, lovely reader, yes, today we’re talking about and reviewing the Stilla, a bluetooth motion alarm that lets you know when the thing you put it on is moving so it doesn’t move further than you want it to. Simple, yeah?

We got hold of one to try it out.

Using the Stilla is simple. You download the app, pair the device with your phone and then arm it.

When the device is moved, your phone starts to screech and a notification appears on the screen. To stop it squealing (you can get a short taste of that sound below) you open the app and disarm it.

Thing is… is the Stilla of any actual use? It costs €39 (approximately $45), which isn’t extortionate, but also isn’t exactly chump change. If it could track anything, say with GPS, that would give it a wider remit of use, but the fact it uses a bluetooth connection means you need to be close to the item you’re protecting.

I feel we need an experiment…

Come hither, child, place thyself on my knee and let me tell thee a tale of the sort of things upon which you can rest the Stilla

First things first. I’m hungry. I’ve just whipped out a tasty sammich, taken a bite and, oh lord, is that someone leaving an empty mug on my desk? No, not in my town. But wait – I can’t leave my glorious lunch alone, what about birds? Enter the Stilla.

You ever been to a fairground? Played some games there? Won yourself a cute little goldfish? Then I know for a fact you’ve left the room, heard a splash, and returned to find a carnival employee half submerged in the water trying to reclaim the creature. Well, no more Mr. Haunted House Operator, no more.

Picture the scene: it’s a sunny day, you sit out on the balcony with some friends, and tunes gush out of your speaker like a hosepipe filled with fire. Everyone’s impressed. You know it. But then, disaster strikes, you’ve finished your beer and need a new one. And Pete’s here. Goddamn Pete. He always tries to sync his phone with your speaker and play his crappy tunes. But how are you gonna stop him? Ah yes – a motion alarm.

You know what people in TNW’s editorial love? Bananas. And do you know what we constantly run out of?

People keep doing things you don’t want them to. Like when your mom sold your N64 to repair the washing machine you broke when you tried to clean your collectible football coins. You know, everyday things like that.

So, what better use of the Stilla is there than ensuring people stay in that same place and, if they have the gall – nay the impertinence – to move from that spot then, well, then Stilla’s gonna tell you. Like the snitch it is.

So, Callum, that looks like fun, should I get one?

Well, it depends. The Stilla was an enjoyable little novelty, but I couldn’t find a way that really made it a must-buy. The example the company uses for its existence is protecting your bag in a crowded bar, but I just tend to put my foot through the strap. Sometimes the old ways are the most reliable.

Still, this approach might not work for everyone and I did find that the Stilla worked as advertised and was quick to alert me when it moved. Basically, the technology is solid, the design is elegant, but you’ve got to have an idea of how it’ll fit into your life to make it worthwhile.

If you do have a burning desire to put something on things that you don’t want to move though, you can buy the Stilla here.