After filing for bankruptcy more than six years ago, Blockbuster claims to have shuttered its last physical store in 2014. This isn’t true. To this day there are still numerous locations open throughout the US, although mostly in places with poor connectivity, like Alaska.
For decades people have said our business model will be our downfall and you know what? We have to commend them on their spot on analysis.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) June 7, 2017
A Twitter account, “The Last Blockbuster,” claims to be one of these locations. We find the proof of that claim to be rather dubious, but parody account or not, it’s still hilarious. Its location, for example, is a bit hard to pin down. The Twitter bio claims the store is located between 3rd and Main in the Oak Lawn Shopping Center, although no city or state were given.
A great way to improve your Blockbuster experience is to lower your expectations.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 28, 2017
Doesn’t matter, though, we know it’s “between Ace Hardware and the former O’Kelly Dojo.”
As bad as we want this to be true, it’s almost certainly not. And really, it doesn’t matter. The account is a nostalgic look at the life of a Blockbuster employee from yesteryear, only mixed with a healthy dose of cynicism that would have to accompany anyone still working at a still-open store.
We're watching Titanic and the boobs part starts in like 15 minutes if you guys wanna get down here.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 30, 2017
It’s unfortunate, really. Some of my fondest memories include browsing the aisles for any movie with boobs, and swapping out Super NES games that suddenly “didn’t work” after hours of playing them — aka, after figuring out just how terrible Shaq Fu was. Luckily, the ever-chill employees never seemed to care much and always let me swap crappy games for better titles.
Screw you, Shaq Fu.
We really are trying.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 8, 2017
At the end of the day, the account makes us laugh. And if we want to pretend it’s real employees manning the ship, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.
If an employee starts crying during checkout you get a voucher for 25% off your next rental. That's the Blockbuster guarantee.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) January 17, 2017
A blind man just walked in thinking this was a gas station & I didn't have the heart to tell him so I sold him a pack of my own cigarettes.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) December 20, 2016
Do you guys really need a receipt? We spend 3 bucks on ink and paper so you can claim Encino Man on your taxes? Come on.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 12, 2016
Just a reminder VCR rentals will not fit through our QuickDrop return slot no matter how hard you kick them. Thx.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 20, 2017
In light of recent news, we're offering 20% off any movie where an American guy punches a Russian guy.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 27, 2017
A couple guys in hard hats just tape measured the front of our store. That can't be good, right?
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 2, 2016
Our fire alarms are nonfunctional at this point so if you see a fire just yell "Fire!"
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 18, 2016
Tomorrow and tomorrow only we will be forgiving all late fees as long as you bring in a written apology and give us one compliment.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 28, 2016
Does anyone know how to change a desktop photo on a Hewlett Packard? This has been the background since I started here. pic.twitter.com/XcKYCHEqQv
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 6, 2017
via Reddit
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