This article was published on June 13, 2017

The Super Mario Odyssey trailer is the strangest thing I’ve seen today


The Super Mario Odyssey trailer is the strangest thing I’ve seen today

Mario has always worn multiple hats — plumber, fashion icon, part-time crimefighter — but Super Mario Odyssey takes each of these hats seriously. The Broadway-inspired trailer is a thrill ride of emotions, and after watching it, oh 20 or so times, I still don’t know what to make of it.

It starts with a strange opening. Did Mario abandon Yoshi for the T-Rex from Ark: Survival Evolved? Worse, did this T-Rex eat Yoshi? Please tell me the T-Rex didn’t eat Yoshi. Or, #AltTheory, is this actually a juiced-up version of Yoshi? It’s got the anger issues. Steroids aren’t cool, kids.

And what about this? Is Mario moonlighting as a scooter-riding cabbie?

Does he even have a drivers license?

Why isn’t he wearing a helmet? I’m worried about your life decisions, Mario.

And the outfit changes. I… I don’t really understand what’s happening here. I’m impressed, however, with how well a chubby plumber rapidly approaching retirement age is able to pull off any ensemble Nintendo decides to dress him in.

But Uncle Sam? A stereotypical Mexican in a poncho and sombrero?

What’s happening right now?

What happened to your body?

Doesn’t that hurt your face?

Why are you a fish?

How do you fight bad guys in a tuxedo? Better still… why are you wearing a tuxedo?

But the most pressing question is: how the hell do I get the song from the trailer out of my head?

I guess we’ll find out later this year.

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