Marco Polo I am not, but today I embarked on a journey just as important. For science, and only science, I traversed the depths of PornHub, shielding myself from cocks while on the lookout for an elusive member… wait, bad word choice… user known for leaving the most G-rated comments on a site known for some not-so-G-rated content.
There’s a saying on the internet: don’t read the comments. On a porn site, I discovered, this is doubly true.
There’s sage wisdom touting previously unknown fellatio ranking systems.
And complaining about dicks occupying too much of the screen in a non-solo, non-lesbian porn film.
Viva la revolution!
Others are complaints of a different kind, but something many of us can relate to.
I have no issue with those who want to strip naked and put their junk on full display for the entire internet. I do have issues with those that do it without making their bed. Get it together, people. You’re supposed to be professionals.
But regardless of what you think about porn, or the people that leave comments on porn sites, it’s hard to argue that we can’t help to create the world we want to live in. And one user, BedSheetRater, wants to live in a world with nice sheets.
BedSheetRater — which we assume to be a pseudonym, but aren’t operating under that assumption without confirming it so as not to offend anyone — is equal parts deviant, Bed Bath & Beyond reject, and Consumer Reports reviewer. He’s truly doing God’s work, and for that, we commend him.
PornHub once again proves to have answers to the questions we didn’t think to ask. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m headed to Amazon to buy some sheets.
Come (hehe) join our Answers session tomorrow with the Pornhub team: Corey Price (VP), Brett Hall (Director of Product) and Alex Klein (Marketing Manager). Ask them whatever you want – for a friend, if that’s how you roll. Sign up here and ask away!
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