Sometimes it’s hard to describe what a weird day is for me anymore. Shouting encouragement to my first robot vacuum named after a Jetsons character? Routine. Scripting a back-and-forth dialogue between two voices in my head over the merits of a PC gaming store? Yawn. Playing a demon-killing badass in a sequel game I’ve waited over a decade for? All in a day’s work.
But taste-testing a hot sauce made by an erotic game-hosting website that’s actually called “Hentai Hot Sauce?” This is off the scale even for me. Still, I’m not one to let a bizarre opportunity like this slip me by, and for some reason TNW agreed to let me tell you guys how it is.
Hentai Hot Sauce comes from the people of Nutaku, a sort of Steam for porn games. When the company sent me more information, it described the sauce as being a way of enhancing the experience of playing its games, saying: “Bursting with capsaicin, an aphrodisiac component, this hot sauce stimulates the nerves and increases blood circulation so gamers can expect a more intense, vivid gaming experience.”
I was skeptical of that claim, to be honest.
I’m certainly not the first to try this hot tamale — apparently I’m in the company of Felix “Pewdiepie” Kjellberg, who sampled the sauce on Twitter. He was circumspect, but seemed to enjoy it.
I’m not a wimp when it comes to spicy things, but I rarely have straight hot sauce on anything. Usually it’s mixed in with other flavors, but I’m not cooking up a whole meal just to sample some hentai-branded sludge. So, for better or worse, I went in with a spoon and tossed it down the old hatch.
Through the teeth and over the gums — look out stomach, here it comes:
Yeah, I had a bit of a hard time with it, as you can probably tell. It’s not a bad sauce all things considered. It didn’t exactly leave a flavor on my tongue other than pain, though I did feel it in my stomach for a few hours after the fact. My advice: don’t eat this on an empty stomach.
Still, like I said, I could see myself putting this in some chili or maybe in a marinade at some point. Still, regarding the claims that it’s an aphrodisiac… I don’t think I’ve ever felt less like canoodling than I did after swallowing this.
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