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This article was published on July 29, 2016

There are now Pokemon Go-themed sex toys, oh god, oh god, oh god

There are now Pokemon Go-themed sex toys, oh god, oh god, oh god
Natt Garun
Story by

Natt Garun

US Editor

Natt Garun is the former US Editor at The Next Web, managing the North American team on content, events, features and reviews coverage. She Natt Garun is the former US Editor at The Next Web, managing the North American team on content, events, features and reviews coverage. She previously wrote for Digital Trends, Business Insider, and Gizmodo. Facebook | Twitter | Google+

Any hot pop culture item is bound to end up with its own sexual parody; while we haven’t yet heard of a Pokemon Go porn (it probably exists, but I’ve not dared Google it), we can confirm that there are now PoGo-themed sex toys called Pokemoan. And they will ruin your childhood.

The toys come in four different shapes that represent the original starter Pokemon, each with names like “Bulby,” Charmy,” “Squirty,” and “Piky.” The last one in particular is shaped like tail in case you’re into that kind of role-playing in the bedroom.

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…Cute, I guess?

Gives a bit of a new meaning to, “You teach me and I’ll teach you,” doesn’t it?

Depending on which you buy, they range from $50 to, heh, $69. Probably best to keep these away from poor Professor Oak, though Professor Willow might have something different to say about them.