Alas, thy Nintendo 3DS will no longer be thy Netflix main driver

No! No no no no! No no, noooooo. NO. NO NO. NOOOOOO. I, simply, CANNOT. Comrades, I hate to have to tell you this, but you’ll no longer be able to watch Netflix on your Nintendo 3DS from June 30.

Give me a moment, I have to compose myself. Phew, that’s a bit better, thanks.

Yes, come Summer, Netflix will no longer work on the Nintendo 3DS and Wii U. That means those long lockdown evenings of watching Adam Sandler on your tiny 3DS display will come to an end. No, I’m not ready either, but all good things must end. We shall get through this together.

According to Nintendo (I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR ALLOWING THIS), the Netflix software for the 3DS and Wii U was removed from the company’s app store on December 31.

If you’re lucky (nay, blessed) enough to still have it on your Nintendo 3DS, cherish it. Hold it tight each night. Whisper sweet nothings to it — for you only have a few months to watch Tiger King again on that shitty, shitty screen.

There is one bright spark though, one ray of hope: the fact that the superior Switch console has a Netflix app you can… Hold on, what’s that? There’s still no Netflix app for the Switch? But the console was released in March 2017? Almost three years ago? No, that can’t be right?

(Spoiler: there is no Netflix app for the Switch).

Now the Nintendo 3DS is discontinued and we can no longer watch Netflix on it, surely now’s the time to release a Switch version? I’m not sure whether it’s Netflix or Nintendo at fault here (probably the latter, considering its history of fiercely protecting its ecosystem), but this needs to change. And fast.

Yes, we all have a few more beautiful months of squinting at that Nintendo 3DS screen, but after that delicious dalliance is over, what then? WHAT THEN? I dread to think of it.