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This article was published on July 14, 2010

Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone

Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone
Chad Catacchio
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Chad Catacchio

Chad Catacchio is a contributor writing on a variety of topics in tech. He has held management positions at a number of tech companies in th Chad Catacchio is a contributor writing on a variety of topics in tech. He has held management positions at a number of tech companies in the US and China. Check out his personal blog to connect with him or follow him on Twitter (if you dare).

Here’s what David Letterman thinks are the Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone (video below) in reverse countdown order:

  1. Only accepts calls from Mel Gibson.
  2. You check your email and it shocks your nuts.
  3. There’s no lather when washing your cornea (oh, I’m sorry, that’s a sign you’ve purchased a bad eye foam.)
  4. Looks, smells and tastes like a pop-tart.
  5. Apple Store looks suspiciously like some dude’s trunk.
  6. You keep getting anonomous texts reading: “iPhone kill you.”
  7. Pre-loaded with naked photos of Steve Jobs.
  8. Operates on 20 “D” batteries.
  9. Automatically answers every call with a computerized “Yello!”
  10. To make a call, you have to insert a quarter.