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This article was published on February 7, 2017

Faux IKEA ad offers President Trump an affordable ‘Börder Wåll’

Faux IKEA ad offers President Trump an affordable ‘Börder Wåll’
Rachel Kaser
Story by

Rachel Kaser

Internet Culture Writer

Rachel is a writer and former game critic from Central Texas. She enjoys gaming, writing mystery stories, streaming on Twitch, and horseback Rachel is a writer and former game critic from Central Texas. She enjoys gaming, writing mystery stories, streaming on Twitch, and horseback riding. Check her Twitter for curmudgeonly criticisms.

IKEA, the company known for their rage-inducing assembly instructions, might have the perfect solution to Trump’s border wall. It’s affordable, it’s easy to get, and it only takes two people — or so this satirical ad would have you believe.

“Börder Wåll,” a faux IKEA product ad, could save President Trump some change. Unlike Trump’s wall, this one will set back taxpayers just $10 billion, as opposed to the $15- to-$25 billion the project could cost.

We have the German “honest news” site Der Postillon to thank for the ad. In it, we see a graphic of just what you would get in every package, along with an individual in a dashing sombrero looking up at the wall in awe.

Inside the (presumably enormous) box would be:
• 471,612 wall panels
• 754,579 wire spokes
• 313,329 feet (yards?) of barbed wire
• 1,886,448 short screws
• 3,772,896 long screws
• 1 two-sided hex key (which sounds troublingly easy to misplace)

If that sounds a little too intimidating, then don’t worry! The Börder Wåll would come with a 5-year guarantee and a 12,000-page instruction manual.

Der Postillon says it’s available at any IKEA branch, although presumably the President will want one heck of a roof rack to transport it.

It’s a pity this incredible deal isn’t actually legitimate! We would all enjoy seeing the President patriotically twisting the hex key into the first screw, presumably while Vice President Pence holds the panel aloft!