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This article was published on March 29, 2018

Cryptocurrency News March 29 – Hell!

Cryptocurrency News March 29 – Hell!
Ed Zitron
Story by

Ed Zitron

Ed Zitron is the CEO of EZPR, a Media Relations company based in San Francisco, Boston and Portland. He's written a book called This Is How Ed Zitron is the CEO of EZPR, a Media Relations company based in San Francisco, Boston and Portland. He's written a book called This Is How You Pitch and was named one of Business Insider's Top 10 PR people in tech, as well as one of Adweek's 30 under 30.

Welcome back everyone to your very important, very normal cryptocurrency newsletter blog. I took a break because I got really sleepy and spent every dollar I have on cryptocurrency statues that then fell onto me, pinning my body to the ground. Disgraceful.

As you can tell things are going great in cryptocurrency, with Bitcoin dropping below $7500, for reasons nobody knows, but don’t worry, it didn’t stop people from coming up with random reasons as to why. For example, Ethereum is thinking of charging fees for keeping data on the platform (?!) because apparently a decentralized platform needs that I guess. Maybe it’s like a mining fee. I don’t know. It’s all really confusingly written because most of these people write entirely for one very small audience to read.

Crypto is good or bad

CNBC’s at it again with some great coverage of cryptocurrency. It’s very good to hold – also, it’s very bad.

  • If an investor didn’t hold stocks through the 10 best days for the S&P 500 each year, the annualized return would drop to 5.4 percent from 9.2 percent, Thomas Lee, head of research at Fundstrat Global Advisors, said in a Wednesday report.

  • Similarly, “the reason ‘buy and hold’ (or HODL) makes sense for BTC is that a handful of days each year account for the bulk of gains for BTC,” Lee said.

  • However, it’s not clear whether historical analysis on the decades-old stock market is appropriate for the far more volatile cryptocurrency that’s less than 10 years old.

I’d say 90% of what CNBC publishes is either “Bitcoin sucks – or does it?” or “Bitcoin rules – or does it?” rewritten by some sort of AI.


Seriously Though from Bitcoin

Racoon mind good

When someone asked for 0.15 Bitcoin, for some reason the person receiving the request decided to ask them to dress up as a raccoon and forage through some bins.

Inarguably the best part of this entire thing was the specificity of the requests about how he should go about being a raccoon:

After receiving the photos, Neil decided to end their correspondence and told Yousef that he would not be receiving any money from him. Yousef, unsurprisingly, blocked him.

Country exchange

In remarkably large yet underreported (or I didn’t see it because I’m ignorant, so let’s just assume it’s someone else’s fault) story, both Binance and Bitfinex will be leaving asia, headed toward Malta and Switzerland respectively. This is pretty huge! It means that the regulations in asia have actually become bad enough that people are moving their questionably legal cryptocurrency operations into other countries. Let’s hope nobody changes the laws there!

John McAfee update: there is no difference between good things and bad things