No, this is not scientific – it’s just my opinion as a Next Web Editor. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, and 50 Top Tweets of January 2009, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in February 2009 – and there are 80, as 50 just wasn’t sufficient room for them.
February was another month of growth in Twitter usage and mainstream reporting – Twitter hit the headlines again with yet another aircraft down – this time at Schiphol airport, near Amsterdam, and Stephen Fry got stuck in a lift and tweeted his way out. Here are the best Tweets that I found last month. Enjoy!
- smartasshat I like my porn stars like I like my White House. No Bush.
- smartasshat I like my White House like I like my lesbo porn. No Bush. No Dick.
- trelvix Fair Trade Monday: You don’t offer your seat to the old woman on the train; I don’t tell you about the bird shit on your overcoat. Deal?
- andrewburnett @realfreshtv A degree in social media?? Pffft. What next dissertations of 140 characters?
- RalphBassfeld When you call in sick, don’t tweet that you’re eating in a restaurant and going for a walk. Person fired by @podpimp for this.
- homerdash I woke up and didn’t see my shadow, so I went back to sleep for 6 more hours. Pretty sure that’s doing it right.
- patrick “Schiphol airport is closed due to a problem with an inbound flight.” I’m in the plane an via Twitter I see there is a crash!
nickclayton Turned on British telly. Apparently world is coming to an end. No. It’s snowing in London. Proof third runway needed to boost global warming
hoosiergirl When you fall ass over elbow on the ice at 28, what hurts most is your pride. When you fall at 38, what hurts most is your ass & your elbow.
practicalwitch Never look away from the water dispenser while refilling. Not even if the cute delivery guy walks in. Um, especially not just then.
DieLaughing If I haven’t been reliving this day over and over, then how do I know that no one will find this obvious Groundhog Day film reference funny?
stephenfry Ok. This is now mad. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell’s teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle
skashliwal “There is only one difference between DREAM & AIM. DREAM requires soundless sleep to see… Whereas Aim requires sleepless effort to acheive
craigmcgill RT pls: has no-one realised Latitude lets you set up list of people you don’t like, see location – and avoid them. Antisocial media is here!
lordlikely is awake after a night of drunken debauchery. Both my heads are throbbing.
LenKendall Converstations, unlike banner ads, don’t get taken down on a certain date. (Take heed my media planner friends).
alisongow Thanks for those mixed messages. I will attempt to read your mind and get back with an answer. I am also booked on a learn-by-osmosis course
skydiver Dear person who just pushed past me to get on the plane: all parts of the plane land at the same time. Don’t make me kill you. Love, Peter
gapingvoid “Can’t art be a social object?” Oh, for fuck’s sake…
vd “Bandwidth, the petrol of the new global economy”
globalcitizen The teller at the bank just used the word “necceseriously”. I’m going to write that down in the same list as “supposebly”.
mikebutcher Really looking forward to watching “celebrities” reveal how dull they really are on Twitter. In Twitter Veritas!
swoodruff Standard disclaimer: The views expressed in my tweets don’t necessarily reflect the views or opinions of anyone else, including me at times
gapingvoid Off to buy a new handgun… #screwyouwerefromtexas
cartoono When viewed from a train, other people’s lives seem so right and perfect.
UK_BusinessLabs Did you know that the left side of the brain controls speech? Well it would say that wouldn’t it?
mikecoulter Off to see the EdTwestival human collateral damage at Edinburgh Coffee Morn in Centotre.
AllisterF I do worry. This town doesn’t have enough bandwidth for the all of us.
Dutchcowboy screw cancer, lets launch a startup
ViruSoul_ One Out of Four People in this Word is Mentally Unbalanced. Think of your 3 Closest Friends, if They Seems OK, Then UR the 1.
borisTwitter tagline: “It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn”
chrisbrogan The good news is that I’m busy as hell. The bad news is, I’m still not saying no effectively and often enough. Deadlines missed everywhere.
GilliganPierce When Satan found me this job, he placed me in the office THISCLOSE to the loo everyone shits in. Also, pretty certain they all have diarrhea
shelisrael I just prayed for the Lord to give me my Daily Bread. He told me to go down to La Boulangie & pay retail just like everyone else.
Sznq When you’re stealing someone else’s thunder realise 1.You’re an uninspired copycat & 2. It’ll piss them off. 3.Zeus as an enemy sucks.
John_Taylor What does it mean to come home to love, tenderness, compassion , understanding & great sex? – You’re in the wrong house! :-)
steveswrong (opens reader) Well at least Google stop counting when there is over 1000 items to read. 1000+ looks better than 5 million unread (sinner)
brendanmacneill If RBS lost £28Bn. who’s the lucky fellow that found it?
Catavarie The worst part about what I’m doing right now is that not only can I not talk about it, but I don’t even know what it is
sjcurrie Right I have now officially turned into my mother “what the helll are they wearing???”
debasispradhan Someone please tell those people who say “never in your wildest dreams” that they really underestimate the wildness of my dreams!
jake Just brought some pirate water. For £1.20 it better at least have essence of pirate.
jimwolffman Why Do Some Marketing Materials Use Capitals For Every Fucking Word? Do They Think We Are Stupid.
frontofficebox Yesterday we had an article on breakfast TV about life coaches – for Cats. Meanwhile the world’s economy is in the crapper WTF
lxcoza Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fullyrefreshed and on time – Viz
John_Taylor I’m not saying it’s cold this morning, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets! :-0
alisongow Someone just used the phrase ‘product roadmap’ in cold blood. Good grief…
davewiner I thought at first I’d have to pay to read my own blog, but it’s even worse. They don’t *have* my blog on it. That is soooo damned rude.
jonathanfields “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain
angellr What does a Drunken Sailor and the Government have in common? The sailor eventually runs out of $$$ and can’t print more!!!
ewanmcintosh Just seen naked woman jump into Water of Leith screaming at her/a guy before running after him in badly fastened trench coat.
Scobleizer The public fight focuses on fact that Twitter has some deep problems that the rest of the world will hit soon (and is already hitting).
alisongow There are 100+ phones in the newsroom yet the only one that rings is on the desk next to mine. I am Rosemary the sodding Telephone Operator
joeslaughter My 6 yo is worried about classmate-she is too perfect. Thinks she may be another lifeform in costume – Maybe stop the science fiction games.
Aubs Thinking of swapping my Lenten sacrifice and instead giving up all the half-assed guys in my life. DEFINITELY a fair trade for caffeine.
=stewarttownsend #fridaynews off to get some quality virgin train food, oh the excitement is so much, I may implode on myself
EverywhereTrip Oh man this is going to suck. I’m stuck in no bandwidth-ville and am going to have to do major surgery on my website
novaspivack Twine will be available shortly. It is becoming sentient right now :)
Kevin_McIntosh_ Has a bank ever bailed you out of a jam?
If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #ttom to your best tweets in March.
Art or Science?
You might want to check out the slightly more scientific approach of Favrd, which shows the ‘most favorited’ tweets (if you register with them as a one-off) and is also pretty hilarious. They do warn that
“If you see Twitter as a venue for public relations or marketing, or as an audience eager to hear news of a post on your ‘blog’, or a rich hot sticky vertical, or if you consider yourself a web strategist, or if you talk earnestly about social media, or if you can read Techcrunch or listen to the Gillmor gang with a straight face…”
it’s very unlikely the things you say on Twitter will show up there. So, ideal for Next Web Readers, I feel.