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Hollywood is making a movie about cryptocurrency and will someone please make it stop?

I long for the sweet release of death

bitcoin-movie

Proving you’re years late to the party, Hollywood is about to cash in on cryptocurrency.

The project, called Crypto, focuses on a a federal agent (played by Beau Knapp) who returns to his home town in New York to investigate a case of corruption and fraud. Once there, the agent finds himself “enmeshed in a dangerous underworld populated by a mysterious art dealer, a crypto-currency enthusiast turned cyber-sleuth, and a corrupt accountant doing the bidding of ruthless clients,” according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The project’s producers compared it to The Firm and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Which sounds, if we’re being honest, a tad ambitious. Based on the description alone, the film sounds dreadful. Think Sharknado sequel, but one that centers around an upstart cryptocurrency project called Shark Coin.

And before you ask, that’s a real project, apparently.

Crypto may be the largest Hollywood project in the cryptocurrency space, but it’s certainly not the first. First was the mile-a-minute thriller Bitcoin Heist, a Vietnamese production with a 20 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I also don’t know if twas really a mile-a-minute, but IMDB tells me it is indeed a thriller. So, take that with a grain of salt.

If that’s the bar in the cryptocurrency movie space, I like Crypto’s chances.

If you’re waiting for a movie that actually has a chance (while also featuring some cryptocurrency), you’re in luck. The Coen brothers are reportedly working on a project about Silk Road, the infamous drug marketplace that catapulted cryptocurrencies into the mainstream.

Published June 16, 2018 — 01:21 UTC

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