Dominos Tracker app sits on a throne of lies

Dominos’ Tracker app is a liar and if it had pants they would probably be on fire.

According to a Wall Street Journal report the “John” or “Jane” the app claims is making, checking, or delivering your pizza may not in fact be who it says they are.

Numerous individuals have gone on the record with testimony that ranges from misquoted times, all the way to delivery drivers who aren’t actually named “Melinda” despite the app’s insistence that’s who was bringing the pizza.

A Mr. Gardner told the Journal that the app told him his driver, Melinda, was to bring his pizza but when a man arrived he suspected he’d been fooled:

I said, ‘Hey Melinda,’ and he was like ‘what the f—are you talking about?’ Ever since then, I knew everything they said, I felt, was made up. I was like, ‘I wonder if, when they say they’re putting it in the oven, if they’re actually putting it in the oven?’

Worst of all the company is unapologetic. A spokeswoman gave the Journal a statement which was equivalent to an “Aw, shucks” with a shrug, saying: “Tracker has worked as intended for nearly a decade for millions and millions of orders,” and “Sometimes people make mistakes.”

No more. Stop the lies Dominos.

To you, the Tracker may be a clever marketing device, or nothing more than a way to engage customers and up-sell 2-liters of soda. But, anyone who actually takes the time to navigate a pizza delivery app for a second longer than it takes to get proof they’ve placed an order may beg to differ.

You owe the people who delight in the digital hullabaloo an authentic experience. Your app even has an area where users can provide encouragement to the people making, checking, or delivering their food. Presumably thousands of us have used it.

Did that encouragement ever reach a real person? Did our positive vibes get lost in the ether?

We may never know.

If Dominos Pizza Tracker can catfish us all, what hope is there for humanity?

We didn’t reach out to Dominos for comment because we no longer trust technology.