The word on the street, as reported by Recode and the New York Times is that there are big changes set to be announced in Twitter’s upper staff ranks. Key personnel, including SVP of Product Kevin Weil, are reportedly on their way out and there are adjustments due to the company board.
Notably, a “high-profile media personality” is said to be joining the Twitter board. But who should that be? Here are some ideas, in case the selection committee hasn’t quite nailed down a name.
Snoop Dogg
He’s visited Twitter in the past, is interested in technology and, let’s face it, a man in his mid-40s rapping about weed and hoes is a little embarrassing – maybe he’s looking for a change of pace. And people always add Snoop to these lists, so who are we to ignore him?
PewDiePie
It would be good if Twitter could get ‘the kids’ tweeting rather than spending all their time watching people talk about videogames on YouTube. Who better to understand that audience than a man who spends his time talking about videogames on YouTube? He could even offer the rest of the board regular commentary about Twitter’s stock price in his inimitable style.
Katy Perry
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She’s the biggest celebrity on Twitter and understands what makes Vines go viral (have a badly dancing shark in your Super Bowl show). She’s in-between albums and her most recent tweet (at the time of writing) seems like good advice for anyone running Twitter.
Kim Kardashian
She’s often dismissed as a trivial irrelevance but is actually a canny businesswoman. Twitter is often dismissed as a trivial irrelevance and needs some canny business sense. The perfect fit?
Donald Trump
Twitter wants to increase user engagement and Trump is definitely a media personality who knows about engagement – whether that’s via his awkward retweets or by generating huge media attention for his crazed and bigoted tirades.
Will.i.am
Polymath Will loves his tech. He’s backed apps and underperforming gadgets. Twitter has apps and is underperforming. “I gotta feeling” that this would be a good match. He judges TV talent show The Voice in the UK, so maybe he could sort out some spinning chairs for the boardroom too.
Bill Murray
There are lots of celebrities on Twitter; Bill Murray isn’t one of them, despite there being a hugely popular tribute account in his name. Imagine how popular a real Murray account would be. Signing him up would guarantee some bona-fide tweeting from the 65-year-old actor, or at least some witty banter to entertain the rest of the board during depressing meetings about Twitter’s stock price.
Taylor Swift
She might not quite have Katy Perry’s Twitter audience but let’s face it, The Internet As A Whole loves Taylor. If she says ‘Twitter is awesome and everyone should use it and buy its stock,’ could anyone really resist? She’d be useful in case of any tense negotiations with Apple, too.
Kanye West
Because come on, it would obviously be brilliant if he did it.
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