Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone

Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone

Here’s what David Letterman thinks are the Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone (video below) in reverse countdown order:

  1. Only accepts calls from Mel Gibson.
  2. You check your email and it shocks your nuts.
  3. There’s no lather when washing your cornea (oh, I’m sorry, that’s a sign you’ve purchased a bad eye foam.)
  4. Looks, smells and tastes like a pop-tart.
  5. Apple Store looks suspiciously like some dude’s trunk.
  6. You keep getting anonomous texts reading: “iPhone kill you.”
  7. Pre-loaded with naked photos of Steve Jobs.
  8. Operates on 20 “D” batteries.
  9. Automatically answers every call with a computerized “Yello!”
  10. To make a call, you have to insert a quarter.

Read next: The intranet is dead. Long live the intranet.

Shh. Here's some distraction

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