Here’s what David Letterman thinks are the Top 10 Signs You’ve Purchased A Bad iPhone (video below) in reverse countdown order:
- Only accepts calls from Mel Gibson.
- You check your email and it shocks your nuts.
- There’s no lather when washing your cornea (oh, I’m sorry, that’s a sign you’ve purchased a bad eye foam.)
- Looks, smells and tastes like a pop-tart.
- Apple Store looks suspiciously like some dude’s trunk.
- You keep getting anonomous texts reading: “iPhone kill you.”
- Pre-loaded with naked photos of Steve Jobs.
- Operates on 20 “D” batteries.
- Automatically answers every call with a computerized “Yello!”
- To make a call, you have to insert a quarter.
The intranet is dead. Long live the intranet.