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This article was published on February 9, 2016

FBI tries to keep kids from becoming terrorists by creating world’s worst video game


FBI tries to keep kids from becoming terrorists by creating world’s worst video game

I bet just this morning you woke up thinking: “I would really like to play a top down scroller featuring a goat and bad controls that coincidentally happens to be made by the FBI.”

To that, I’d give the double response:

  1. You have oddly specific thoughts.
  2. We’ve got you covered anyway.

Yesterday, Gizmodo wrote about the FBI’s new “Don’t Be a Puppet” website, which is a horrible mish-mash of tired cliche and ’90s nostalgia (is that really a Gameboy Classic?).

gameboy-classic-fbi-game

The website is part of an FBI initiative of the same name that aims to help kids better understand time-honored problems, such as how to recognize violent extremism.

After they’re done buying hash from their local ISIS recruiter, teens can kick back and play this colossal failure of a video game, ‘The Slippery Slope,’ that features a goat on a journey to nowhere who’s inexplicably incapable of things like, oh, precise movement.

Like the website itself, The Slippery Slope is laughably bad, but my biggest problem resides in the fact that it’s virtually unplayable, and that’s apparently a feature.

The game attempts to show teens (through use of a goat with no motor skills) how one false move can leave them sliding down a slippery path and straight into a… hell I don’t know, what are those things, trees? Rocks? Minecraft rejects?

Overall, the FBI gets an A for effort and an F for execution.

Countering Violent Extremism [FBI via Gizmodo]

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