It happens at every conference – a deluge of useless crap that somebody somewhere will actually buy. CES 2012 was no exception to this and there were actually far more terrible items than I could have possibly fit into a single post. So we picked 5 of our “favorites” from a single hall and rounded them up for you.
The Boob Mouse
Pat Says Now had quite a few peripherals and some of them were actually quite nice. This one, however, didn’t make the cut. I suppose that it will be a fit for someone. Most likely a basement-dwelling neckbeard.
Super-Bling iDevice Cases
I first saw these at CTIA last year, and I kinda blew them off. I figured that there was no way that the company would be in business in another 6 months. Apparently, I was wrong. Or at least I was wrong enough that the company can still afford to set up a booth at CES.
Anti-Radiation Peripheral Handsets
This company is so concerned about radiation that they even manufacture their own “personal note recorder”, which is a small video camera that they think you’ll use so you don’t have to touch your phone. But these horribly-ugly handsets really took the cake. Unfortunately I couldn’t keep a straight face long enough to get an interview with the maker because his tinfoil hat ideas had me cracking up a bit too much.
Sad Pedobear iPhone Case
Ssd Pedobear was all over CES this year, mainly from Asian manufacturers of mobile accessories. There was actually a great set of wired headphones with Sad Pedobear on the ear cups, but this case provided for a better picture. Now, is that a bear in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Pretty Much Everything in This Booth
For those of you who have been to a Spencer’s Gifts, this will look really familiar. But to put an “electronics” twist onto this company’s crap, everything that they sell has lights, or beeps or is otherwise electrified. I could have picked 5 random things from here and they could have all been terrible, but I figured that I’d spread the love around somewhat.
So there you have it. 4 eye-rolling pieces of junk, and an entire booth full of them! It’s too bad that we couldn’t find the better butt-cleaning toilets again. My goal was to have TNW’s Matthew Panzarino do a demo for you, but we got lost in the CES shuffle.
Want to see the stuff from CES that didn’t suck? Check out all of our coverage here.
This post is part of our contributor series. The views expressed are the author's own and not necessarily shared by TNW.
Published January 13, 2012 — 22:22 UTC