Watching porn at work has been a time-worn tradition ever since the Internet and closed office doors were fused in the 1990s. However, there exists, and this will be a shock to some, workplaces where the viewing of pornographic material while on the clock is more than looked down on – indeed, it can get you in trouble.

Executive Director John James of the US Missile Defense Agency (that sounds important), has, according to Bloomberg, released a memo to his underlings, pointing out that watching porn at the office isn’t ok when you work with, presumably, nuclear weaponry:

Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images. […] These actions are not only unprofessional, they reflect time taken away from designated duties, are in clear violation of federal and DoD and regulations, consume network resources and can compromise the security of the network though the introduction of malware or malicious code.

Or, don’t watch porn at work, and don’t get us any damn viruses either. You can’t make this up. However, there is a serious element to this: You could lose your security clearance, James said, if you keep up the naughty activities.

Because we can’t trust the people who develop our ballistic missile defense with, you know, smut. The horror!

As a side note, being professional is good. However, castigating your employees about a humorous issue in a manner that is doomed to leak to the press and be giggled about the world ’round is a bit silly.

Top Image Credit: The National Guard