In response to a 400% increase in Syphilis infections in Sunderland, Durham, and Teesside, public officials have conducted a study which shows that the biggest correlation is with users of Facebook and other social networks.

According to Professor Peter Kelly, director of public health in Teesside, the biggest risk increase seems to be in young women. But for both genders, if you live in one of the three places mentioned, you are 25% more likely to use social networks than anyone else in Britain, hence the correlation.

Now Facebook won’t sneak into your room at night and inject you with Syphilis, but the data is sensible in a way: people on social networks sometimes use them to find casual sex. And unprotected casual sex is a fantastic way of getting an STD. So just think of Facebook as a vector to a vector.