It’s Friday, which means we can get away with posts like this one.

Straight from the WTF department comes this cringe-worthy and unintentionally funny press release, entitled ‘Facebook and Google Have a New Frienemy – BoingOpia.com launches Patent Pending Web 3.0′. It’s all there, folks.

The headline mentions Facebook and Google, because, you know, it’s Facebook and Google and we hear they’re big on the Web and stuff.

It mentions the word ‘frienemy’, which is a hipster’s way of spelling frenemy, described by good old Britannica Encyclopedia Wikipedia as “either an enemy disguised as a friend or someone who’s both a friend and a rival”.

The rival company in question has an odd name that is almost guaranteed to also be the name of a sleazy strip club or brothel somewhere on this planet. Where did you pick up that nasty STD, Jim? Why, at BoingOpia, of course.

And of course it contains the term ‘Web 3.0′, just when people have finally come to terms with the fact that Web 2.0 was a God awful term that should never, ever be used again in any way imaginable. Seriously, just don’t.

This Web 3.0 Technology (with capital T, yes Sir) is even patent-pending, which has become so meaningless these days that even using the word meaningless to describe it has become kind of meaningless.

Below find the full press release for your enjoyment 3.0. I would have gladly put the parts that made me laugh hard in bold, but that would mean nearly highlighting everything in there, so do yourself a favor and just read it in full.

Facebook and Google Have a New Frienemy – BoingOpia.com launches Patent Pending Web 3.0

PHOENIX, May 4, 2012 /PRNewswire/ — BoingOpia Corporation has announced today the launch of the company’s technological contribution to Web 3.0.

Being referred to as the gateway to Web 3.0, BoingOpia Corporation’s Patent Pending Technology allows Internet surfers to instantly create a microsite of any website and share it to other social networks, web pages, blogs, ad networks, etc.

Through the company’s new social network, The World Of BoingOpia, consumers can create microsites of their favorite product websites, spread them virally across all relevant social platforms, track consumer interactions, and finally, allows registered users to anonymously ‘Get Paid for their Likes’.

The system automatically assists users in becoming registered affiliates for the World’s Top Leading Brands such as Calvin Klein, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Armani, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Sony, Apple, Hewlett-Packard, etc., totaling more than One Hundred Twenty Million (120Million) products.

Chief Marketing Officer, Robin Mitchell, had this to say, “…In all of the years of my career in marketing, I have never witnessed a company as focused and dedicated to the needs of the so-called ‘little guy’ as much as BoingOpia Corporation has proven itself to be. This company has really captured the essence of what technology can do for all of us to profit, and to unleash the inner entrepreneur buried deep inside each and every one of us. I am so proud to be a part of this revolutionary experience that will change the World.”

The company’s revolutionary search engine also provides an improved experience for users by automatically creating microsites of each of the relevant search results using its proprietary Relavor Technology, which only returns the most relevant search results to choose from. The system compiles the assets of the remote website, and allows the consumer to interact with those assets without ever leaving the current website. An “Out-To-Site” link is conveniently located on each microsite for easy access to the originating website.

The technique is especially effective while using mobile devices. It removes the need to constantly pinch to expand and contract the website to fit within the mobile screen. The BoingOpia technology automatically sizes the remote website’s assets into the new BoingOpia browsing experience.

Users can view images, watch videos, read text, as well as listen to a naturally speaking voice read the text of the website while displaying a slideshow of the website’s images, and even place orders for the products sold at the website, remotely. Website owners no longer need to spend thousands of dollars creating mobile versions of their websites, or even more expensive mobile applications.

The BoingOpia Patent Pending Web 3.0 Technology will also allow users to speak voice commands through mobile devices while conducting comprehensive searches. For example, by simply saying the name of a particular product, the system will automatically find the website with the best price for the product, compile several product review videos, product images, description text, purchase location, etc., and generate the microsite which will automatically start playing the videos in sequence, or display product images while reading the text description, for hands-free interaction, all in under one second.

Eric Benson, CEO says, “…The evolution of the world-wide-web comes down to one word: data. We all contribute little bits to it every day, which collect as an embodiment and made available through the internet. We all own the internet collectively, and as such, we should all have the ability to profit by it collectively and individually. BoingOpia Corporation has dedicated itself to putting the power of the internet back into the hands of the people who created it… the people who use it each and every day.”

So far, the company has developed several products which use the amazing new web 3.0 technology. Full Live demonstrations are available at the subsequent links written here below:

BoingOpia Manual Microsite Generator: Creates a microsite of any product website in under two minutes. Additional videos may also be added to any microsite during the manual microsite generator process. A fully interactive Live demo may be performed here: http://www.BoingOpia.com/Generator

Each microsite created is instantly published to the main BoingOpia website, the original creator’s profile page, as well as to their other social networks pages and walls, search engines, etc., for the world to see and interact with.

BoingOpia Contextual Ad Network is completely built out, fully operational, and provides website owners with proprietary BoingOpia Ad Network code to embed into their web pages, automatically rendering their websites with an explosion of interactive ads which they profit by whenever a consumer purchase is made of the products featured in the interactive microsites.

Simply hover the green text at the following URL to see BoingOpia Contextual Ad Networks Live Demo: http://www.BoingOpia.com/Contextual

BoingOpia Ad Banner Generator for Advertising Agencies: Advertising agencies may now instantly create advertising banners for clients’ websites and advertising campaigns in minutes.

See Live Banner Ad Generator Demo Here: http://www.BoingOpia.com/ads

BoingOpia for eCommerce: Anyone with a product to sell may instantly publish a microsite of the product complete with images, videos, text descriptions, etc., and a payment page link such as PayPal, to accept payments, as well as a chat system for real-time discussions, all without owning a website.

BoingOpia For Real Estate Agents: This unique product allows real estate agents to instantly publish a microsite of properties for sale or rent complete with images, videos, text descriptions, and a fully functioning interactive contact form, plus a chat system for real-time discussions.

BoingOpia For New Music: New or Seasoned Musical Entertainers may create and virally distribute microsites of their musical performances by simply inputting links to their videos and images, write their text biography, as well as include payment links, such as PayPal, to allow consumers to purchase individual music tracks or full albums.

A Live Demonstration of BoingOpia for New Music is available at: http://www.BoingOpia.com.

BoingOpia For Videos: Consumers may create collections of videos which can then be embedded into websites, blogs, social networks such as Facebook, etc., for back to back uninterrupted play.

BoingOpia Mobile Code For Website Owners: The proprietary technology and code, when embedded into websites, will instantly display the optimized mobile version while offering the website owner more control over the look and feel of their created microsite, providing mobile visitors with the best possible viewing experience and interaction regardless of their mobile device.

BoingOpia Clone-It Button: The company provides the tools which allow web surfers to instantly create a microsite of their favorite websites by simply clicking the Clone It button, a browser plugin available to registered users.

For more information, please visit BoingOpia.com at http://www.BoingOpia.com.

About BoingOpia Corporation

BoingOpia Corporation is a privately held software development company with patents pending in the fields of internet advertising algorithms, as well as financial related technologies, and applications used by fortune 500 companies.

Is it fake? Who cares, because isn’t porn fake too? I mean, I’ve heard.

There’s no doubt about it, Apple is an amazing company when it comes to marketing its products. The two new Siri TV ads are a perfect example of how the company can show the human side of otherwise hard-to-understand technology.

One of our favorite sites to read is Scoopertino, which makes fun of Apple with fake news in a very Onion-esque way. This week, with all of the talk about retina displays coming to new iPad 3, the satirical site had its own spin on the news by “announcing” the iBalls.

The silly, yet witty, faux story states:

With its new iBalls technology, Apple has created superior eyes. Once installed, iBalls allow you to choose between five different modes of vision: normal, microscope, telescope, wide-angle and sepia.

Even better, iBalls allow you to take 8-megapixel still photos with one eye, 3D photos using two eyes, and upload a 24/7* video record of your life to iCloud in glorious 1080p.

The site even went so far as to mockup an Apple style webpage for the iBalls:

Click here for full-size goodness.

The story continues with this hilarious poke at Apple’s subscription services:

Those who default on their iBalls subscription will lose all functionality, including basic vision. However, in these cases, Apple will provide iBraille training at no additional cost.

This leads me to a slightly serious question, even though this is a far-fetched humorous look at Apple technology, if something like this were available would you be interested? We’ve seen these types of things in movies like The Terminator and Mission: Impossible, but you have to believe that it will be a reality some day. And hey, if something like this ever does come to fruition, I’m sure Apple will be right there as a major player.

Until then, I’ll stick to the eyes I have.

At the end of last year, we told you about a new project by YouTube called the “YouTube Slam“. The project pits two videos against one another in a “hot or not” style competition. The site lets you watch two videos and decide which one is better, or in the case of comedy, funnier.

That project alone wasn’t scientific or geeky enough for Google, so the company decided to delve deeper into what makes videos funnier and how the company can detect that you enjoyed it more than any other old video.

One place the company decided to go was within the comments on all of the videos that participated in the YouTube Slam. By looking at the content of the comments, it found that many people would leave a quick “hahaha” or “LOL”. Comments that display the humor you found in the video can help the company rank the popularity of a video in a slightly different way. This data on top of what it was already collecting with your votes, might just tell us which videos are actually funnier.

Surprisingly, the company found that the more o’s you put in your LOL comments on the video, the funnier you thought it was. It was a pattern it picked up time and time again, so Google has decided to build it in to an algorithm which ranks the funniest videos:

Next we needed an algorithm to rank these funny videos by comedic potential, e.g. is “Charlie bit my finger” funnier than “David after dentist”? Raw viewcount on its own is insufficient as a ranking metric since it is biased by video age and exposure. We noticed that viewers emphasize their reaction to funny videos in several ways: e.g. capitalization (LOL), elongation (loooooool), repetition (lolololol), exclamation (lolllll!!!!!), and combinations thereof. If a user uses an “loooooool” vs an “loool”, does it mean they were more amused? We designed features to quantify the degree of emphasis on words associated with amusement in viewer comments. We then trained a passive-aggressive ranking algorithm using human-annotated pairwise ground truth and a combination of text and audiovisual features. Similar to Music Slam, we used this ranker to populate candidates for human voting for our Comedy Slam.

How scientific is it exactly? Your guess is as good as mine, but the minds at Google always come up with a way to quantify huge amounts of data so the “LOLSignal” sounds just as good as any other.

If you haven’t participated in the YouTube Slam project yet, it’s a fun way to kill boredom for hours on end.

Designed by Milos Paripovic, the iPoo concept is a mockery with a finger pointed directly at you… Yes you… You Apple ifan you.

I do think Paripovic is missing a trick though.

No Apple scented air freshener immediately after you’re ‘done’? How about Steve Jobs yelling”boom”! after you’ve landed a floater? :) TMI?

The best one of the lot might be by comedy team Rooster Teeth. It’s called “Siri: The Holiday Horror Movie (Trailer)”, and has all of the fake gore and cheesiness you’d expect from a really crappy Horror movie. The only difference is that the evil force that stars in it is none other than Apple’s Siri.

Enjoy!

Thinking about this now, he could just be barking out of pure excitement.

As the video below explains, the technology behind this uses sound from the event that is converted into energy that charges one phone over the course of the weekend. This won’t be available to all but Orange will be “testing” a limited number of the T Shirts around one of their stages and effectively turning punters into walking billboards for them in return for providing a useful service. I wouldn’t expect this tech to catch on anytime soon in the mainstream because the cynic in me says this is a “technology breakthrough” dressed up as a marketing stunt but it is a very good one and it’s bound to get plenty of attention both at the festival itself and online. A smart marketing campaign indeed…