What I learned on Twitter today (but mostly in the last 3 minutes)

Despite a mighty apple being hurled through its window, Microsoft is still open for business and keeping the glassblowers busy making more windows. That and some vicious rumours about Nicholas Cage have been circulating together with muppets and Angelina’s second viral leg.

It’s new, it’s truth, don’t let it prick you.

• Confused by those little black and white pixels stuck on random stuff, then you’re not the only one thinking wtf?
• Facebook patented history itself in a bid to beat Yahoo to owning the word ‘timeline’
• The popular tech news trumpet, folded its horn into a tablet to unveil something rather magical.
• Game nut and self styled cryptic crazy gal, Aleks Krotoski had a magnificent breakfast.
• Got a video call with your new sexy boss? But let’s face it, FaceTime makes you look like a goblin, no fear, the FaceTime facelift is here!
• Masked decorator Banksy poured forth on advertising, declaring open season.
• Ever thought that the football you were playing was more like, er showjumping? Don’t worry, Facebook has been messing with your gameplay.
• A man wrote a novel in two hours between diagnosing a sore throat and completing the school run.
• Apple finally gave in to the mobs outside its well buffed stores and banned all pictures of Nicholas Cage from its devices.
• The Pope is opening his drawers for a good inspection.
• 10,000 iPhone camera apps to choose from is simply not enough, defying the fact that we can’t be arsed with more than 3 choices at any given time, the world looked on in awe as another camera app filtered out of cloaking mode.
• Angelina’s missing leg has been found and badly reattached.
• Another day, another improbable story about someone who dislikes knitting and basket weaving joining Pinterest.
• Vintage software flea market Microsoft took the dust sheet off 8 shiny new windows.
• Chris Anderson confirmed that muppets were giving TED talks now, but refused to confirm if muppets had been permitted in the past.

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