The Next Web

To All The Girls I’ve Loved (and offended) Before

By Boris
October 13, 2009
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To All The Girls Ive Loved (and offended) BeforeToday I sent out a newsletter with a nice infographic as an illustration. I’m showing it here in full glory on the right. As you can see it lists “prerequisites 2 be my girl” based on the famous song “Kiss” by Prince.

We featured a similar one before based on Rick Astley’s ’never gonna give you up’ which was just as funny.

Or so I thought. Minutes after sending the email I got a message from one of our readers:

“Really? Really? What were you thinking with the “Prerequisites 2 Be My Girl” sidebar? You should issue a public apology.”

I had no idea what she meant so asked

Really? Why???

Her reply:

I’m surprised that you don’t understand. In the united states, sexualizing women in a business context is considered extremely inappropriate, and in certain cases legally actionable.

I’m not interested in having a lengthy conversation about this, as I’m busy and you can easily educate yourself. A quick search of amazon or google would probably yield all the material you need to become savvy in this area. Here’s a start –

Google Book Results: http://bit.ly/14nuJo

I figured she just didn’t know ‘Kiss’ from Prince so I explained it to her with a link to a videoclip of the song and  included the Rick Astley image too.

Issue solved? No such luck. Her reply:

No, really — you don’t understand. The cultural reference doesn’t matter. This is inappropriate in the same way that the big butts reference was inappropriate in Dave McClure’s post a few months ago. And I like Dave. You still shouldn’t do it.

Here is that ‘big butts‘ post. It shows a big butt. Not very classy and a lot of women felt offended and asked if that was really necessary. I get that.

But this? That Prince song?
And the infographic? Is that image sexualizing women in a business context???
Offensive to women? Prince?? Really???

Well, if that was offensive to women I hereby issue a public apology to all women who were offended.

So tell me now, who else was offended? Comments please…

For the girls who didn’t understand the title of this post here is the original. No offense intended there either.


  • deciara
    In fact I would recommend more Prince rather than less. This injection of his work has single-handedly improved the average writing quality on TheNextWeb by about 500%.
  • Amalucky
    I don't get it! Why was this offensive?! There was no business context in this infographic just relationship context! Of course some girls mix relationship and money issues but that's a whole different story. It's Prince, can't touch this :)
    I call: unnecessary drama
  • Next to the EU sub-sites you should also start one for the sensitive US people.

    Looking at here replies, expecially the big butt post (sorry, but get a life) she definitely needs to get laid...
  • Women without a sense of humor make me sad. Lighten up, ladies! This blurry set of columns does not sexualize or objectify you.
  • kurrstine
    to each his (and her) own.
  • The song, as I interpret it, is actually very inclusive and accepting. Maybe it was totally out of context in your newsletter, and half the people who opened it didn't have a clue where it came from.
    As a woman, I'm glad to hear "you don't have to be beautiful" from a man (especially these days, where all evidence from popular culture points to the contrary, and much more so than 20 years ago); and I'm sure many men would be glad to hear "you don't have to be rich" from a woman. Prince's song has both statements, and as such it is classily outmoded.
  • I get the girl, I find this pretty offensive (and I'm a man). I mean, what are your goals sending this beside offend the girl ? Btw. I'm from southern Europe. I find this kind of behavior possible only if you go to a pimp and give him your "dream list".
  • It's inappropriate, and after the big butt controversy you should know better.

    Given that you repeat the offense by using the Julio Iglesias song title in your attempt at an apology, I conclude that you're trying to stir up trouble while making yourself look like a martyr to political correctness. I find that strategy contemptible. I'll be dropping your site from Twitter and no longer visiting it.
  • I'm a publisher and this inappropriate joke about publishers keeping authors down on your website was very offensive to me and my partners. Could you please delete it? http://lynnkendall.com/?p=2727
  • +1 to Boris
  • Jennifer Hicks
    Last i checked Prince was an international rock star whose main career is writing sexy songs about love and other stuff and the Next Web editorial content was not. Rock star writing lyrics for song versus techhead in the Lowlands writing for tech outlet. Hmmm.
  • Did I miss something? Is this woman working for TheNextWeb and feels sexually harassed? Does TheNextWeb purport to be THE blog for the conservative businessperson? Were the graphic pr0n images removed? (Did I miss those, too???) Is this her first venture onto the internet and she's yet to be so inundated with overstimulating media that these 2 columns are "shocking?"

    I'd be sad to see posts like this go away. I choose TheNextWeb because, amidst their timely, informative, witty updates, we get these little "breaks."

    I'm sure she thought she was doing a favor but let these guys be what they've become and go somewhere else if this offends you.

    Besides, you have to cut them a little slack; even though they're just boys, they CAN SPELL!
  • I'm not into guys, but Prince does have a nice ass.

    ( on the musical infographic)
  • Henchan
    If the first message made no mention of Kiss then you can be pretty sure that the writer did not at first know the cultural reference. The follow-up is likely just face-saving or deeper hole digging, depending on your perspective.
    I did get the song reference right away - it's a great and memorable song - and I was amused by the Infographic. But I wonder whether I'd have been shocked had I not got it.
    My advice to the complainer: Don't give your cause an undeserved bad name. Save your ammo for more worthy targets.
  • Not only is this sexist, it's:
    -heteronormative (have to be a woman)
    -repressive (act one's age)
    -discriminatory against people with facial disfigurements (what if they don't have lips to kiss you with)
    -prejudiced against bigfoot (not your shoe size)
    -classist (not wanting the rich)

    The very artist's name, Prince, is sexist - why not "princESS", or the gender neutral "Royalty"?
  • I'm a feminist and I don't find this offensive. I just don't think it's funny either. It's lame and awkward, not witty.
  • I'm a girl and I don't have the slightest problem with this infographic. I mean, hey, it's infogrpahic based on a pop song that is widely known as well as regularly played on the radio. What's the problem?

    I'd second the "lighten up a bit" statement.
  • Heleno
    Seems nonsensical to complain about something that funny me. As a card-carrying feminist (yes, we have cards) this is the sort of stuff that gives the cause a bad name and allows people to ignore the real issues. As you were.
  • Thomas
    Well, if anything the whole thing is really a comment on existing Prince lyrics. Should we not be able to comment on stuff like this, then we are surely doomed. It's pretty hard to be a feminist (or a subscriber to any other -ism) in a world where comments are deemed to be inappropriate. If you wanna have a swing at Prince, that's up to you. And hey, I live in Sweden, a country who has a government that used tax payers money to finance feminist porn.
  • Annon
    If she was in the kitchen where she belongs she wouldn't have read it and therefore wouldn't have been offended.
  • Actually, I'm quite pleased that my fav blogger appriciates Prince and his classic hits!
  • iquanyin
    um, business context? what business context is this woman referring to? what was the newsletter for--an office? your relatives? this blog?

    if it was a work newsletter, then ya, i guess, kinda but jeeze.
    any other context: gimmee a break. i'm female, i didn't know the prince song (and i like prince), and so what? it was obviously a humor thing. why people bother deciding to be "offended" about stuff like this is beyond me.

    it's fine.
  • C'mon Boris:

    Why are you trying to have a sense of humor, fuse iconic pop culture into technology and opress women?

    Don't you know that people in technology (and large corporations) strive to be asexual, androgynous, colorless and devoid of any emotion.

    Our goal is to produce things like un controversial power point slides for other robots.

    Have a great day.
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